


Lover's Feud

by demonprincess7



Series: Fatal Charm [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Fear, Fighting, Killing, Magic, Murder, Sire and Childe - Freeform, Sparring, Torture, Vampires, spells, vengence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-19
Updated: 2014-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-08 22:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/766498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonprincess7/pseuds/demonprincess7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy has a vision, Angelus is back and he's headed for Sunnydale. Will her love for Angel once again compromise her ability to kill Angelus? Who will he kill before she has the chance?<br/>Set in season 4 around Doomed, but lacking in (though still containing necessary bits of) Riley drama. Will get a bit dark and grim in later chapters. Eventual Spuffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Monster Rises

Buffy walked into Giles’s apartment after school. She tossed her bag down on the table in the entry. Spike was in the kitchen pouring Weetabix into his blood.

“Spike, what are you doing here?” It was still awkward for them to be in the same room together let alone talk to each other. After Willow’s “will be done” spell, she couldn’t decide if she wanted to punch Spike when she saw him or kiss him. Punch him, she definitely wanted to punch him. “Never mind, where’s Giles?”

“Good evening to you too slayer,” He said walking into the living room and throwing himself down on the couch.

“I don’t have time for this. Where is he?”

“Don’t know, haven’t seen him all day.”

“If you’re lying to me…”

“Oh right, because I care whether or not you find your precious watcher.”

“Shut up, Spike.”

Just then, Giles walked in the door carrying (would you believe it?) lots of books. “Buffy, I’m glad you’re here. I have a few theories about our strange commando friends.”

“Actually Giles, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it Buffy?” He set his books on the table looking concerned.

“Um, in private maybe?”

“Yes, of course,” Giles said and led the way into the kitchen. Spike looked over the back of the couch at them, but didn’t get up.

“What’s wrong.”

“Well, I’m not sure how to… I mean I… I did something, bad. I think. I’m not sure I don’t really remember. I mean I kind of remember, but not exactly,” Buffy rambled.

“Buffy, slow down. What is it you think you might have done?”

“Well, after Thanksgiving, you know I went to LA.” Buffy fidgeted. “While I was there me and Angel we, uh… you know.”

“You mean to say,” Giles cleaned his glasses. “You and Angel, you…”

“Yeah. I mean I think so.” Buffy sighed. “I don’t really remember, but it’s like…. I know.”

Spike laughed from his seat at the bar. “So sex with Peaches isn’t so memorable then, eh?”

“Spike! What are you doing?” Buffy asked.

“Well I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation, vampire hearing and all. I thought I’d join you.”

“You thought wrong. Go away Spike.” Spike stayed where he was, but he didn’t say anything else. Buffy turned back to Giles. “I wouldn’t have said anything if I wasn’t certain. I had this dream… One of those slayer-vision-dream-things.” 

“So,” Giles put is glasses back on. “We should be concerned that Angelus may be free. You went to Los Angeles weeks ago, why didn’t you say anything sooner?”

“I told you I can’t really remember, but if Angelus is back, he’s coming here, Giles. We have to be ready for him.”

“Yes, right.” Giles’s face went dark as he left the kitchen and went to call the other Scoobies. Buffy walked around the bar and leaned against it looking worried. She couldn’t help but think of all the damage Angelus had done last time. He killed Ms. Calendar, nearly killed Willow, and almost sucked the world into hell. Buffy thought the best case scenario would be if Angelus came after her and left the rest of the world alone, but that still meant her friends were in big trouble. And all of this was just because she and Angel had been left alone for a minimal amount of time. 

After a few hours Willow, Xander, and Anya had all shown up and Buffy updated them. Willow blushed.

Xander panicked and said, “How? I mean I know how I just mean, how? You and Angel… Angelus is coming here?”

“Most likely,” was Buffy’s nervous sounding reply.

“Who’s Angelus?” Anya asked.

After explaining Angel’s evil soulless version to Anya, Giles suggested preparation plans. 

“Buffy, you should call Cordelia in Los Angeles; tell her what’s going on. No one should be left alone.” Buffy nodded and went to the phone to make the call.

“I’ll stay with Xander!” Anya offered.

“Me and Buffy can sleep over at her mom’s; make sure Joyce is safe too.” Willow said.

“We’ll also need to increase patrols and in bigger groups. As soon as Angelus sets foot in Sunnydale we’ll need to know about it,” Giles declared. 

“Ooh I know about a spell. We could use it to set off a sort of alarm if any big bads come into town,” Willow said.

“That’s very good Willow, yes. We should definitely look into that.”

Buffy rejoined the group. “I talked to Cordelia. Turns out, she was just about to call us. Angel is awol,” she paused and the group felt tense. “Willow, you mentioned a spell.”

“Yeah, but it’s only an alarm. It won’t keep him out.”

“How fast can you put it together?”

“If the magic shop has all of the ingredients I think it can be done in… maybe two hours.”

“What about that vampire-keep-out spell?”

“I think I have all of the ingredients for that one,” Giles said. “I could do it myself.”

“Good. Okay. Sunset was about an hour ago so if he’s only leaving LA now, we’ve got time,” Buffy looked nervous as she spoke. “Anya go with Willow to the magic shop.” They nodded and left. “Spike, Xander, we’re going patrolling.”

“You’ve got it slayer,” Spike said as he jumped up from his bar-side seat.

“Giles, work on that keep-out spell. You’ll just have to reinvite Spike when we get back.”

*** 

Angelus watched the last ray of sunlight disappear from the room as he hid safely in the shadows. He’d been waiting for just the right moment. He always loved to plan it all out. Each step had to be perfectly placed. He’d spent weeks sleeping in Angel’s bed, drinking pig’s blood, and listening to Cordelia prattle on about her latest audition for one TV commercial or another. He was tired of playing the soul boy and helping the hopeless. 

The street outside had steadily quieted until only the occasional car broke what to human ears sounded like silence. Any vampire in town however could hear quite the commotion. Angelus was back. They all knew. Those who were lucky enough to have been turned by a member of the Aurelian clan could feel his presence and had alerted the others in their excitement. Luckily for them, Angelus wasn’t trying to keep it a secret. He knew that as soon as Cordelia realized he was missing she would assume the worst. She had been watching him carefully, scrutinizing his every move, looking for some sign of Angelus. Maybe he should have killed her before he left. Maybe he wanted her to call Buffy. Maybe he wanted the little blonde to sweat a bit, to panic before he finally arrived back on the hellmouth. 

He looked at the floor where a small woman lay dying, her chest covered in her own blood. He swept from the room, his skin warming as the human blood replaced the old butcher shop pig’s blood that his body had become accustom to. Reaching his car he tossed his cigarette to the ground. He looked out toward the dark California sky line and climbed into the car. Even as he drove he kept his new favorite treasure clenched in his fist. In his hand was a small pink flower, common and easily recognized by most witches as Lethe’s bramble. 

*** 

Buffy and the others had seen exactly one vampire since reaching the cemetery. That vampire was Spike. Spike, who was oddly quiet. He hadn’t made a single comment about Buffy, Xander, or Angelus no matter how certain the other two knew that he must want to.

They walked the path through the cemetery for the third time and still no sign of any vampires. All of the dirt was packed down and the grass undisturbed. They left and headed out to the next cemetery. There was a fresh grave there, but no signs that the corpse had or would be reanimating. 

Buffy sighed. She was anxious about Angelus coming into town, but she had been looking to take out her frustration on a few newborn vamps. The frustration caused by her lack of control of the situation was becoming a problem for the slayer. The lack of demon activity was starting to bore her. She needed something to take her mind off of Angelus. She would welcome anything that distracted her from her thoughts. She didn’t want to keep thinking about Angel and whether or not they’d be able to put his soul back before she could kill him. Buffy didn’t want to keep wondering how much damage he would do before either of those things had a chance to occur. Who would he come after first? Buffy was certain that someone would die. It would be someone she loved. It wouldn’t be the only death to happen before Angelus could be stopped, but it would not only be a game changer, it would be a life changer. Unless Angelus had changed his ways (which Buffy thought was very unlikely) and decided not to mess with her friends and family, death was hanging over each of their heads. She felt horribly guilty for putting them in this kind of danger. She just wished she could remember how it happened. Maybe it wasn’t her at all. Maybe something bad had happened, something nonsexy and majorly magically that made it not so much her fault. She would feel less guilty, but it wouldn’t change the fact that her loved ones where in terrible and unpredictable danger. Buffy was so caught up in her worries that Angelus could have been walking right behind her and she wouldn’t have even felt it.

Spike was busy contemplating what might happen when his sire catches him helping the slayer. Angelus wouldn’t understand his chip issue. He’d insist that Spike had gone soft, that he had joined the slayer in fear of her or some nonsense. Spike was also concerned about whether or not Angelus would be on another end of the world mission. The whole destroying the world bit had been rather out of character. It must have been caused by Angelus being locked away in the cage that was Angel. It made him crazier than Dru. Spike didn’t think he would try to destroy the world again, but he would certainly make destroying Buffy his priority. While Spike was all for the slayer dying, he wanted to be the one to do it. If he had to see someone else kill the slayer, Angelus was the last demon he’d want it to be. As long as she wanted his help, Spike would stand by the slayer in this battle.

“Where are all the vamps?” Xander asked.

“Well,” Spike paused to light a cigarette. “If they heard that Angelus is coming to town, they’ll be busy competing to be his new lackeys. They like to think they’re all gonna be pals with the poof.”

“Really? They’re all excited about being minions?” Xander asked incredulous.

“Oh, yeah. It’s a big deal him being the head of the Aurelian clan all,” Spike couldn’t help but sound a bit proud.

“It doesn’t matter where they are,” Buffy said. “What matters is they aren’t here. We should head back to Giles; see if he has any news.”

“I don’t see why you’re so down, Buff. No vamps means there’s time to get a nap before Angelus shows up,” Xander said.

“I’m the slayer, Xander. It’s just what I do. I slay.” 

“There’s an awful lot of cemeteries in Sunnydale, pet. We ought to keep going,” Spike was concerned that the slayer was worrying too much about the oncoming danger to focus on the here and now. 

“Sure, but I really don’t think we’ll find anything,” Buffy said sounding agitated.

“Don’t be so glum. I’m sure something nasty will turn up, always does.”

“We can only hope,” Xander said sarcastically and with a small laugh. 

*** 

Willow and Anya made it back to Giles’s shortly after he had finished the spell to revoke the vampire invitations. Willow had found the book containing the spell and they ran to the magic shop to get all the ingredients. Luckily, they’d found everything they needed and Willow could put the spell together without delay. Giles helped Willow set everything up and she began. The other three left her too it and wandered about Giles’s apartment waiting for the others to return.

Giles was the most anxious of the lot. Angelus was the one danger that he wished his slayer never had to face. Sure she’d faced incredible danger and been put into the most horrible of circumstances, but Angelus topped the list without a doubt. It’s never easy fighting with one’s lover, but when the fight is to the death, it becomes nearly impossible. At least it would be for any human. To Angelus, it was fun, it was a game. He chose to do this because Buffy was the greatest testament to Angel’s humanity. Angelus hated her for that. Angelus doesn’t often hate his victims, and that makes the torture that comes before hand all the more heinous. 

Giles went to the kitchen and poured himself a scotch. He was afraid for his slayer and afraid for her friends, but he felt nothing for himself. There was a part of him that wanted Angelus to come after him. All of that anger of Jenny Calendar’s death had resurfaced. He thought he’d moved on, but how does one get over the death of one that was so dearly loved? He could feel a part of him that he hadn’t felt in years rising up. It was the part of him that he liked to pretend wasn’t really him at all. It was a monster that goes by the name that few still insist upon calling him. It was Ripper, and Ripper was ready for vengeance. But vengeance would have to wait, because Buffy had made it back safely and Spike would be waiting for an invitation.


	2. Setting the Game

WELCOME to SUNNYDALE. The big yellow and orange sign greeted Angelus as he drove into town. He had a few hours before sunrise, but he expected that Buffy and her gang would be patrolling extra hard and he didn’t want to be seen until he was ready. He’d need to find somewhere to hide for the night and ignore his love of luxury. Anything would have to do. The factory was destroyed and Buffy would be expecting him to return to his mansion. He would have to pick a crypt in one of the cemeteries. 

Angel turned off the road and parked his Plymouth in the woods where it couldn’t be seen from the street. He walked silently through the trees watching for Buffy and her friends while simultaneously searching for a place to spend the night. Peering through the trees, he caught sight of the small blonde walking just a few paces behind two others. One of the two was quite obviously Xander, but the other surprised Angelus for a moment. He knew that Spike had helped Buffy to stop him before, but that could be forgiven. Angelus hadn’t been in his right mind and Spike took drastic measures to stop his mentally damaged sire from doing something stupid. Now, here he was walking stake in hand with the slayer. Angelus involuntarily growled. The slayer had gone and corrupted his childe. Sure the boy was Drusilla’s childe but the poor girl had no idea how to teach a childe how to be a vampire and it had been his duty as grandsire to take over for her. This was not what he’d had in mind for his boy.

Spike was a killer and damn good one. Angelus would never admit to the boy how he admired his style. His approach was always so unsubtle yet thought out and gracefully executed. Angelus was more the type to hide in the shadows and snatch someone up while they’re alone. If he decides to play with his victims at all, it’s a much slower and not nearly as pretty show. Angelus loved to watch Spike kill. He’d wait until William was alone and he’d have a nice chat with the boy about that and his new association with Buffy.

His family was broken apart by that damned soul of his. Darla was dead and Drusilla was off on her own somewhere. The childe should never be left alone. She can’t take care of herself. Angelus hoped for the girl’s sake that she had found someone to take care of her. He’d have to go find her once he’d taken care of the slayer. He didn’t think it would take long, but he wanted to have some fun playing with her first.

***

Willow was still asleep next to her when Buffy woke up. It was a Friday, but even after the long night of magic and worry, Willow would be going to class. She could smell breakfast cooking downstairs. Joyce must have decided that having her daughter home was occasion enough to cook a big meal, even if she didn’t yet know the reason for Buffy and Willow’s sudden appearance the night before. Both girls had looked so exhausted that Joyce had insisted that they both head up to bed before going upstairs herself.

Buffy changed and went downstairs. She found her mother in the kitchen frying bacon and sat down at the kitchen island. “Morning,” She said to her mom, her voice sounding rough after the long night.  
Joyce smiled at her. “Good morning. I wasn’t sure what you girls would be in the mood for so I made pancakes and bacon.”

“Bacon sounds great.”

Joyce fixed her a plate and watched her eat for a minute before asking, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Buffy shrugged and nibbled on her bacon. She sighed. “Actually, something bad happened, something really bad.”

“I thought so. You seem really upset and you don’t normally visit in the middle of the night, not that you visit at all... but that’s not the point. What’s wrong, honey?”

“Uh… It’s Angel.” Joyce looked a bit confused. “By Angel, I mean… Angelus. He’s back.”

Joyce’s eyes widened. “Honey are you alright?” She asked as she walked around the counter to hug her daughter.

Buffy wanted to smile and cry at the same time. This is why she needed her mom at times like this. While everyone else worries about Angelus, Buffy could always count on her mom to worry about her first. “Mom, I’m fine. A bit wigged out, but I can get through this. I did it before.”

Willow came down the stairs and found them in the kitchen. “I smell bacon.”

Joyce smiled. “I have plenty.”

Willow sat next to Buffy and Joyce fixed her a plate of bacon and pancakes. “So, Buffy, are you comin’ to school today, because I’d understand if you didn’t but we do have a test in Psych.”

“I think I gonna stay here, spend some time with my mom.”

“Um… Actually Buffy, I have to get down to the gallery. Shortly after breakfast in fact,” Joyce said.

“Oh, well that’s okay. I can go check in with Giles, see if he has any ideas what to do about our situation.” Buffy said. “We’ll be back tonight. The dorms are pretty much public domain, even if Angelus can’t get into our room. I don’t want to chance it.”

Joyce nodded. Willow cleaned up her dishes. “Well, I’ve gotta get going. I don’t want to be late.”

“Bye,” Buffy said looking a bit down.

“Bye, Willow,” Joyce said. Willow left and after cleaning up the dishes, Joyce left too.

Buffy sighed and headed off to Giles’s; taking extra care to make sure the door was locked behind her. Just in case.

***

The house was dark. The curtains were closed to keep out the sun. Giles hissed as he bumped his hip into the side of the table for the fourth time since Spike moved in. He turned on the desk lamp and rubbed his sore side. Spike was asleep on the couch. Thankfully the vampire didn’t snore and he didn’t seem to mind if Giles turned on a few lights while he slept. Not that Giles cared how well Spike slept, he just thought since Spike hadn’t been the worst house guest he’d ever had and was at least respectful of Giles’s space and didn’t go rummaging through his things, he ought to maintain the peace between them.

He sat at his desk and flipped through an old familiar book for what felt like the millionth time in the last 12 hours or so. The book’s preface claimed it contained “a complete history of the most feared and horrible vampires of the 19th century” but it held little information on the monster that was currently terrorizing his slayer. Angelus hadn’t even turned up yet and already they were in a panic. He closed the book and turned to some of the old watcher’s diaries. They too held little information on Angelus, a least nothing that they didn’t already know. 

Giles sighed and took off his glasses. He set them on top of the book and rubbed his forehead. He didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t been able to fall asleep until after sunrise and even then it was fitful and full of nightmares. He dreamed of Jenny.

He was in the Sunnydale High library. Jenny stood in the center of the room, smiling at him. She said his name softly and raised a hand as if to reach for him when a pale white hand wrapped around her throat. Angelus stood behind her smiling. Giles tried to run at him but he couldn’t move and Angelus snapped her neck. Angelus’s voice echoed through his head as he said, “What you going to do about it, Rupert? I’m just getting started.”

The front door swung open and Buffy walked in, pulling Giles away from his thoughts. He pushed his glasses back on. “Buffy.”

“What are we going to do, Giles?”

“Uh… I-um-“

“I could hardly sleep last night. I kept having these nightmares and what about my friends and my mom? What happens when he comes after them? I can’t protect them all at once. I don’t even know that I could protect one of them at once.”

“Buffy, calm down. I know that this is all very difficult-“

“Difficult? This is way past difficult.”

“But, we have to keep a level head. We cannot allow Angelus to frighten us into hiding and panicking.”

Buffy sighed. “You’re right. We have to focus.”

“Willow’s spell hasn’t yet alerted us that he has come to Sunnydale, so we can assume that he is not yet here.”

“What if the spell didn’t work or- or he made it here before she cast it? He could be here right now and we wouldn’t even know.”

“Yes, alright, but still we need to plan. I assume you already know that the chances of bringing Angel back are slimmer than the last time. He’ll be prepared for that. I believe Willow still has the spell, but there’s no guarantee that it will work. You have to be prepared to do what must be done.”

“‘What must be done’, yeah. Right. The real problem isn’t doing it. It’s getting Angelus to fight me instead of hiding and playing games.”

“Maybe the best way to do that is to play some games of our own.”

***

Angelus had picked a large ornate crypt in one of the larger cemeteries. It was the cemetery that Buffy patrolled most often mainly due to its size and therefore likeliness to harbor more vampires, but that just meant he’d have a nice view of her next fight. The inside of the crypt was dusty and full of spiders. A few snakes had moved in and taken care of the rat population. Angelus found it disgusting. He hadn’t lived in surrounds like this since… well he never had. Angel however used to live in worse places than this. Sewers, old moldy basements, and other such dark filthy places where the freshly ensouled Angel had hidden himself away from the world. He would need to get some supplies once the sun went down, which felt as though it were drawing near.

While investigating his new temporary home, Angelus had found what appeared to be a trap door. He lifted the heavy covering and peered inside. There was an old, worn ladder hanging down into a dark chamber. Angelus jumped down discounting the ladder. The room was large and empty, but appeared as though it had been intended for a sarcophagus. There was a tunnel that definitely led to the sewers dead ahead. The chamber would be the perfect place to set up a bedroom. Even if Buffy walked right into the crypt, she wouldn’t notice his presence unless she knew where to look. It was perfect and Angelus couldn’t help but smile. Everything was certainly going his way.

***

The sun had set and Willow was just leaving a late lecture on historical Roman figures. She was walking with a classmate and having a heated discussion about the death of Julius Caesar.

“No way, his death was completely justified,” Willow’s classmate, Davidson, was saying.

“Not at all. Caesar may have been a dictator, but he wasn’t a bad leader. Sure someone needed to do something about him, but I don’t think killing was the way to go,” Willow insisted.

“Killing is the only way to deal with dictators.”

“No, you're so wrong. Anyway, we can talk about this tomorrow, I gotta get back to my dorm.”

“Okay, see ya, Willow.”

The two parted ways and Willow headed to her dorm to grab a few things before heading to Buffy’s.

Outside of the dorm, Angelus stood hidden in the shadows of the nearby trees. He watched Willow enter the room and turn on the light. When she left, he followed. He kept back far enough that she couldn’t have seen him even if she had turned around. He followed her mainly by her scent. When she turned and walked onto Revello Drive, Angelus lost all doubts about where she was headed. The girls were obviously hiding out at the Summer’s. That most likely meant that Xander was staying with someone as well in an attempt to make them all untouchable. They might not be alone to sleep, but Angelus couldn’t get inside anyway. He could wait. They couldn’t stay indoors forever. Once the weekend ended, they would all have work and school to go to. For now, Angelus had a crypt in serious need of redecorating and a wayward childe to deal with.


	3. Friendly Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy and Riley discuss some uncomfortable topics. Giles has a revelation that appeals to his Ripper side.

Buffy was back in her dorm Saturday morning, packing a few things she didn’t have back at home. She was trying to hunt down a stray hair brush when there was a knock at the door. She walked over to the door and pulled it wide open expecting someone to have come around looking for Willow. People often came by to ask for her help with homework and projects. 

“Riley!” Buffy was surprised. She had forgotten all about the incident at the clock tower. “What are you doing here?”

“I guess we have to talk,” He said.

“I guess we do. Uh, come in.” She left the door open and sat down on the edge of her bed.

Riley shut the door and sat down on Willow’s bed, facing her. They both sat silently staring at the floor for a while.

“Somebody should speak before one of us graduates,” Buffy said.

Riley stood up and started pacing slowly. “What are you?”

“Capricorn on the cusp of Aquarius. You?”

“Sorry. That came out a little blunter than I intended. - It's just... you are amazing! Your speed, your strength,” Riley said amazed. 

“Also passionate, artistic and inquisitive. Who are you?”

“You know who I am. The rest... what I do...” He shook his head. “I can't tell you.”

“Well, then let me.” She stood up. “You're part of some military monster squad that captures: demons, vampires, probably have some official sounding euphemisms for them, like unfriendlies or non-sapiens.” 

He nodded looking a bit suspicious. “Hostile Sub Terrestrials.”

“So you deliver these HST's to a bunch of lab coats, who perform experiments on them, which among other things turn some into harmless little bunnies. How am I doing so far?”

“A little too well,” once again Riley looked amazed. 

“Meanwhile by day you pretend to be Riley Finn, corn: fed Iowa boy. Ever been to Iowa, Riley? God, if that's even your name,” Buffy said getting angry.

Riley stood up. “It is, born and raised. And hey! Bulletin: I'm not the only one who's been a little less than honest here.”

She sat down. “I thought a professional demon chaser like yourself would have figured it out by now. I'm the Slayer.”

He looked at here as if her words meant nothing to him.

“Slay-er? Chosen One. She who hangs out a lot in cemeteries? You're kidding,” She said disbelieving. “Ask around. Look it up: Slayer comma The.”

“And you fight demons. I mean, you waled on those guys.”

“You did pretty well yourself.”

“But I'm a walking bruise today. You see me with my clothes off I look like... I mean… I have bruises. I don’t see a scratch on you.”

“You’re not looking hard enough.”

“I’m looking pretty hard.”

***

Giles sighed, rubbing his forehead. He’d had another sleepless night. When he did lose consciousness, he had nothing but nightmares. While he was awake, Ripper was rattling his metaphorical cage. If he didn’t get some self-control, Ripper was going to resurface and likely get him killed. He’d thought about telling Buffy about his problem so she could watch him, make sure he didn’t disappear, but he didn’t want her to worry or to distrust his judgment.

He went into the kitchen and poured himself a brandy. He’d been drinking more and more lately. Spike had commented on it the night before. If Spike had felt the need to mention it, it had to be getting bad.

It seemed like Spike was having some trouble sleeping as well. Giles’s couldn’t imagine that Spike was afraid of Angelus, but he was certainly spending an awful lot more time being awake during the day. The good news was that Giles didn’t need to sneak around in his own home anymore, the bad news was that he didn’t get a break from the pesky vampire. In fact, Giles could hear the TV running. Spike must have woken up and decided to watch the news.

Giles took his glass and headed into the living room. He sat in chair next to the sofa and sipped on his drink.

“Brandy again, watcher boy?”

“It calms my nerves.”

“Could use some of that nerve calming myself,” Spike said.

The news caster on the TV spoke urgently, “The body of a local woman was found lying on the ground outside of the old Sunnydale high school. The victim was tortured before finally being killed by what appears to be two round puncture marks on her neck.”

“I’ll call Buffy,” Giles jumped out of his chair and went to the phone.

On the screen, the victim was shown on a stretcher being transported to the hospital to confirm her death and contact her loved ones. Spike could see the marks on her wrists where she’d been tied tightly down. There were burns covering her skin, each expertly placed not to kill or to be severe enough to knock the poor woman unconscious. Angelus had done this to get the slayers attention. It was certainly working.

Giles called Buffy, who made an excuse about being late to meet up with Willow and nearly ran out the door. Willow bumped into Buffy in the hall and together they headed to Giles’s, with Willow looking a bit confused as to the hurry, but assuming it was demon related didn’t ask until they were alone.

Giles went back to his chair in the living room to see if there were any other brutal killings last night. If it was Angelus, he would have left the body somewhere it would be found to make certain that Buffy would hear about it.

“I’ve never been fond of torture,” Spike commented. “It’s a whole lot of extra work just for a bit of blood. Plus it gets messy.”

“Yes, that’s why torture is bad. Not because it’s cruel and malevolent, but because it will leave stains in the carpet,” Giles said rolling his eyes.

“You’re bloody right it will! Worse is when the bloody poof demands that I clean up after him. Ruined several of my favorite shirts that way, too,” Spike complained.

Giles’s eye brightened. Spike had unintentionally reminded him of something that a part of Giles sincerely wished he hadn’t. Spike was Angelus’s childe. They were family. It’s the sire's responsibility to look after their childer, regardless of how old or how skilled they are. Spike may be a master vampire, but through basic vampire instinct, Angelus would always be drawn to protect him. Ripper had exactly the leverage he needed to get to Angelus. It had been sleeping on his couch and eating all of his Weetabix for several weeks now. He could use Spike to get to Angelus, one way or another. Giles smirked. Spike didn’t notice. If he had, he might have been able to put the puzzle pieces together and realized that should keep his mouth shut. Instead he prattled on about his “ponce of a sire”. 

“…and you know that bastard had the nerve to rape the girl in my bed. Isn’t that what his bed is for? I mean, that’s where I sleep. And now it’s all covered in blood and bits of torn flesh and he just shrugs and tells me to clean it up. Like I’m some sort of slave.”  
“And you just let him push you around?” Giles asked sounding genuinely curious.

“Hell no, I punched that bleedin’ wanker right in his face. ‘course then we fought and he used his sire claim to get me to back off. Bloody unfair that was. The bastard’s not one for being fair though is he?” Spike looked fairly close to pouting.

The front door swung open and Buffy marched in followed by Willow. “I thought he was coming after me. Why is he killing other people?”

“I believe he’s just trying to get your attention. It’s your duty as the slayer to protect these people,” Giles said. “He’s appealing to the rudimentary nature of the slayer in you.”

“Plus he thinks it’s fun,” Spike said.

“Torturing people for fun, hasn’t he ever heard of the movie theater?” Willow said.

“This definitely wasn’t the last. I have to do something before anyone else gets hurt,” Buffy said looking distressed. “Why didn’t Willow’s spell work?”

“He must have already been in town when I cast it. It can’t tell us who’s already here; only if anyone bad comes into town.”

“Exactly what do you plan to do?” Giles asked.

“I don’t know, but something. If I don’t then this whole thing is gonna get way out of hand way too fast. I can't just avoid him and wait for him to do something worse.”

“Worse than torturing innocent people?” Willow asked.

“I don’t mean to sound uncaring or anything, but the demons in town do awful things to innocent people every day. Angelus is just another demon. Worse would be if he hurt one of us.”

“I understand, Buffy, but we can’t only think about ourselves here. There’s a lot of people in this town-“

“And they all need my protecting, I know. But all of those people will have to fend for themselves until I figure out how to stop him. A full on fight never seems to get anywhere between us,” Buffy said before walking out of the door. She left to go find somewhere quiet she could think and plan without anyone questioning her. She didn’t need them to understand, but she would need them to stand with her when she made a decision.

“Do you think she’s alright?” Willow asked Giles.

“I don’t know. I’m sure she’ll figure something out.”

***

Buffy was walking back to her dorm when she bumped into Riley, literally. “Oof, sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was- Oh! Riley, hi. I didn’t see you. Obviously.”

“No, it’s okay. Actually I was just looking for you.”

“You were? Why?”

“I was asked some guys at the initiative about you being the slay- ow!” Buffy elbowed him.

“About me being a frycook, you mean.” She said giving him a meaningful look. “Wait you told people that I’m a- a frycook?”

“No. I mean I didn’t say it was you. I just asked around.”

“Oh, okay, good, ‘cause. That would be bad.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured it was a big secret. Look, can we go someplace to talk? Somewhere private, maybe?”

“Sure,” She offered and they headed up the stairs and into her room. Riley waited for her to shut the door behind them before he said anything.

“I just wanted you to know that I’m okay with you being the slayer, and I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me. I get it. Having a secret that you can’t tell anyone.”

“Yeah, it’s not really the kind of thing you tell a guy on the first date.”

“I can imagine. I was thinking, we’re not really so different. I mean, so what, we hunt demons, but does that mean we can’t, ya know, date?”

“Oh. I don’t know Riley. I’ve done that before and it didn’t end very well.”

“You dated me before?”

“No, I mean. There was this guy, Angel. He was sort of a demon fighter, too. It didn’t end well between us and there was all this danger all the time.”

“I know you like me. And it's not like we don't have anything in common.”

“But that’s not enough.”

“So it’ll be a bit difficult. I can live with that-“

“Well I can’t. Look Riley, can we not do this-“

“Buffy. I really think we should try. If it’s too dangerous, we can stop or slow down or whatever you think is best. I’m just asking for a chance.”

Buffy sighed. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Okay.” They were silent for a moment. “So, when you say “demon fighter” you mean…”

“Don’t ask.”

“Okay.”

***

Shortly after sunset, Spike was walking through town, headed down to the butcher’s shop. The refrigerator was officially out of blood and Spike was feeling a bit starved. Another minute locked away with the watcher, who was doing an awful lot of watching Spike lately, and Spike might have flung himself out of the window and into the blazing sunlight. He wasn’t far from the shop when he noticed that he was being followed.

His steps faltered before picking back up to normal pace. He was upwind and couldn’t catch a scent, but the silence of the beings foot falls made it clear it was a vampire. The vampire was drawing steadily closer and a part of him wanted to make a break for it. He couldn’t fight. Which would be better for his reputation, running from a fight or not fighting at all? He couldn’t decide.

He could feel the vampire nearly on top of him. They must be on the roofs. It wouldn’t have been possible to get so close otherwise. Assuming whoever was shadowing him already knew that he knew they were there, he looking hoping to catch a glimpse. He saw nothing. Whoever it was had to be very familiar with his scent. That left two options, Harmony or Angelus. 

Spike turned into the nearest alley and lit a cigarette, waiting to meet his stalker. They dropped gracefully down onto the ground. Not Harmony then. 

“Spike,” a familiar voice greeted him. “You’ve been awfully naughty lately.” Angelus walked within arm’s reach of him. “I expect that of you, but aiding a slayer?” He clicked his tongue. “That’s just not like you.”

“Helped her stop your poncey arse didn’t I?” Spike said.

“That was for a good cause,” Angelus sounded a mocking. “This is different. I’d say you’d gone and gotten yourself a soul, but I can’t smell it on you. I can, however, smell pig’s blood. Why is that, I wonder?”

“None of your business.”

“Ooh, real mature of you Willy,” Angelus looked apprehensive. “What’s happened to you, boy?”

Spike sighed. “There are these new guys in town, called the Initiative. They do… experiments on demons. They caught me, put some kind of government chip in my head,” He ground his teeth. “I can't bite anyone. I can’t hurt anyone, or anything. If it’s alive… I just can’t.”

Angelus growled. A bunch of government bastards went and crippled his childe. They would pay for that. “Have you tried removing it?”

“Not like I can just pull the bloody thing out, is it? I found this doctor, but he couldn’t do a damn thing. He tried, but he said it was too difficult. That one wrong move and I’d end up a vegetable,” He shook his head. “Can’t even defend myself anymore.”

“That’s why you went to Buffy. She won’t kill you because you can’t kill anymore and you can hide out from all of your enemies.” Spike nodded. “You can’t kill demons either?”

Spike shook his head. “Not as far as I know.”

“Have you tried?”

Spike thought a moment. “Actually, no. I just thought since- Ow!“ Angelus punched him in the jaw. Spike glared and instinctively punched him right back. After he realized what he’d done, he grabbed his head waiting for the pain. There was none. “I can hit demons.” He smiled. “Hell yes!”

Angelus smirked. “Good I’d hate to think you’re completely helpless.” Spike tackled him. They wrestled around on the ground for a bit, before they broke up laughing.

“Brilliant, I’ve missed the thrill of the fight,” Spike said smiling.

Angelus chuckled. “Just don't go out picking fights with every vampire you see. Only fight when you need to. If you’d like, we could meet up tomorrow, do this again?”

“Really?”

“Why not? It’ll be like old times.”

“You wanna hang out… at night… with me?”

“You have other plans?”

“Nope.”

“Good. See you tomorrow then, childe,” Angelus said as he climbed to his feet and dusted off his pants. He noted that he’d need to buy new ones. These still smelled like Angel and that filthy soul. Plus, Angelus always preferred finer materials. He left Spike behind and headed off to the bronze to pick his next victim. By next weekend, Angelus planned on hunting with his childe, one way or another.


	4. Evil Plots and Nasty Schemes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelus has a few surprises prepared for Buffy.

Buffy was walking through the cemetery. It was quiet and it looked like just another night. No signs suggesting that one of the most vicious vampires in history was hiding somewhere in town. She had checked the mansion at least a dozen times and found everything covered in dust each time. Nothing, living or non, had moved through that mansion in a long while.

She had only bumped into two freshly turned vampires who she'd staked quickly and easily. She decided it was about time to meet up with Spike and see how his patrol was going. They were supposed to meet up by the main gates, but not for another hour. Spike wouldn't be there yet, but she though she might as well stop and rest her feet. She could just sit there and wait for him and if anything turned up she had a decent view of the main portion of the cemetery.

She sat and relaxed with her back against the concrete wall. This morning there had been another brutally beaten body found by the docks. The girl was last seen by two friends of hers at the Bronze. One of the girls, Christine, said she had seen her dancing with a tall dark man. The girls hadn't wanted to interrupt their friend's fun and now they blamed themselves, but it wasn't their faults. It was Buffy's. Buffy had marched all over town and she still couldn't find Angelus. She'd even pummeled Willy and he didn't seem to know where he was either. Angelus was somehow off radar and it was her job as the slayer to find him and keep as many people safe as possible. Buffy sighed. The girl was only 17.

***

Spike found Angelus leaning against a large ornate crypt. He was dressed in his favorite, red silk button-up and black leather pants. It reminded Spike of before, when Angelus was insane and far from his old sire. Spike had never let himself think of how much he missed Angelus, but knowing how much he needed him if he ever wanted to be a real vampire again, he'd do anything to get on his grandsire's good side.

“Glad you could make it,” Angelus said. “Step inside.” Angelus went into the crypt leaving Spike to follow. The crypt was empty except for a large stone coffin and a lot of dust.

“Gone back to living in the dumps, Peaches?”

“Gotta make it difficult for the Slayer to find me. Don't wanna end the game before it's even started.”

Spike decided not to ask. Angelus's idea of “playing” was never very fun for anyone but him. Angelus opened a trap door in the apparently solid floor. Even Spike hadn't seen it with all the dust. He followed Angelus down the ladder and into another large room. This room, however, was decorated extravagantly. It was perfectly clean, not a single speck of dust. He had moved Drusilla's old bed from the mansion into the crypt and cleaned all of the bedding. There were two dark wood bookshelves and several antique goth tables. He had a large ornate wardrobe with intricate patterns carved into the wood. At the foot of the bed was a large chest that Spike assumed was where Angelus kept his “toys”. He always had plenty of things to beat people with and he liked to keep them somewhere pretty as if that made it art or something beautiful.

“Nice,” Spike said.

“It cost an arm and a leg. Not that it was my limbs anyway.” Spike laughed and Angelus smiled. They were back together like old times. The good old times. “Now, we better make sure all of that sitting on the Watcher's comfy couch hasn't softened you up, boy,” Angelus smirked.

“You wish.” Spike pounced on him. They wrestled and fought, laughing and growling. In an hour or two they'd exhausted themselves. Spike had a few bruises and scrapes, but he'd be healed by tomorrow night. Angelus had a long scratch down his left arm where Spike had tried to bite him before he was shoved away. They were laying on Angelus's new oriental rug catching their unnecessary breath when Spike realized how long he'd been gone. It was at least 30 minutes from when he was supposed to meet up with Buffy.

“Bollocks. I have to go. I'm late to meet Buffy,” He stood up and dusted off his jeans. He headed for the ladder.

“Spike.” The younger turned to look at him. “You can't tell any of them that I'm here. You have to keep up appearances. But don't you forget for one second who your real family is,” Angelus said darkly.

Spike just nodded before climbing up the ladder and exiting the crypt. Angelus cleaned up the mess of broken glass that had occurred when Spike knocked him into a table holding a large white vase. His knew his shirt was torn, but he had others. He was more concerned with whether or not his childer might be falling in love with the slayer. The more he watched Spike, the more reason he had to be concerned. 

He smelled like her. He walked with her and patrolled with her. He'd even told her about being able to kill demons. Of course she had immediately made sure he still couldn't hurt her before deciding that he should patrol with her. Angelus knew that Spike could hold his own and then some, but that didn't mean he liked the idea of Spike patrolling and killing other demons to keep the world safe. He wasn't going to interfere with it, but he would have to reassure himself of Spike's safety every now and then with a nice sparring match like the one tonight. This time around, loosing his soul had made Angelus seriously miss what he had before. Darla, Drusilla, and Spike by his side. He would have that again. Of course Darla was gone now, but Spike and Dru were out there. 

Getting his priorities in order, Angelus decided, Buffy, then Spike, then Drusilla. No, maybe Spike's chip first. Which ever came easiest really.

***

Spike found Buffy at the gate. She was sitting against the wall, lost in thought. Her long golden hair seemed to shimmer in the moonlight. It looked so soft... “Slayer,” Spike said as he approached.

Buffy visibly jumped which made Spike smirk. “What took you so long?” She looked him over once. “You look like you were mobbed. What happened?”

“Nothing I couldn't handle. You ready to head home? I can walk you.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I don't need you to walk me home Spike.” She stood up and dusted off her jeans.

“I was only offering. I thought with Angelus on the loose you might feel better if you weren't alone.” Spike was rather amazed when Buffy, rather than interrupting him to argue, nodded and for a second looked almost grateful. Angelus must have had her pretty shaken and they hadn't even seen each other yet. He would be proud to know that.

Neither of them spoke as they walked. Spike thought that Buffy looked a bit dazed, as though she were sleep walking. He was glad she let him walk with her. If she were attacked while in this state, he didn't think she'd see it coming. When they reached her house, Buffy went inside without so much as a glance in his direction. He shrugged and headed back they he came toward Giles's.

***

The next night, Spike went back to see Angelus. He wasn't sure why he bothered. They'd never exactly been best pals, but he still felt like he wanted to. Maybe he just missed being a part of something like he had before when he had a family. Angelus seemed pleased to hear that Buffy had given him the night off from patrolling. She was going out with a friend she'd said. Spike assumed she meant Willow or someone she met at school.

“So, Spike. Wanna help me with this one?” Angelus asked him.

“What is it?”

“Another not so mysterious and brutal killing. I made it myself,” He said looking quite proud.

Spike rolled his eyes. “If Buffy found out that I was somehow involved-”

“Don't worry, Spikey. The big bad slayer won't know a thing. She's not even going to find them right away.”

“Them?”

“That's why I need a hand.” Angelus lead the way down to his room. When Spike's feet hit the ground at the bottom of the ladder, he had to say he was a bit impressed. Angelus had found himself triplets. He always was drawn to that sort of thing. Anything exciting and unusual and Angelus immediately wanted to destroy it.

They were young, blonde girls, not much older than 15, dressed up in their Sunday best. They looked like they had been walking home from a day at church or a wedding. Their hair looked as though it had been done up beautiful (though it now was dirty, bloody, and horribly disheveled). Their dresses were torn and tattered. Angelus had propped them up on the bed so they appeared to sit arm and arm like three sisters just happy to be together.

“I thought I'd put them in the park. That would be pretty don't you think?”

“Oh yeah, real pretty,” Spike said jokingly. “What have you got them all set up for, your own twisted entertainment?”

“For this.” He showed Spike a drawing he'd made of them. “I was thinking of slipping it through Buffy's window. She usually sleeps with it open.”

Spike sighed not at all happy about having to carry the bodies all the way to park and just so Angelus could continue to torment Buffy. “We'd better get moving then.”

They reached the park, each of them carrying a girl in his arms with the third thrown over Angelus's shoulder. Angelus staged the girls sitting on the merry-go-round. In the shadows they looked as though waiting for a friend to come and give them a push. In the morning the sight was sure to be far less childlike and a lot more grisly. Angelus dusted his hands off looking accomplished. 

“Thanks, lad. Couldn't o' done it without ya.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Spike said. “We should get out of here before the slayer shows up.”

“About that. You shacking up in the watcher's den. I don't like it.”

“That's one thing we agree on then, peaches.”

“I mean it, Spike,” Angelus shook his head looking distressed. “I'm not as reckless as I was before and I realized I may have a made a mistake with that one.”

Spike cocked his head. If Angelus was admitting a mistake like this, it was worth listening to. “What would that be?”

“Giles has a dark past. I wonder if his past might show up in my future.”

“Feeling deep now are we?” Spike couldn't help but smirk.

Angelus shook his head. “I won't underestimate him again.” He looked Spike dead in the eye. His face was entirely serious. “You won't either. Understand me?”

“No since barking orders _sire_. I got the memo.”

“Good. Now you should run along. I've got a message to deliver.”

***

Buffy woke gently, a small smile on her face. She couldn't remember the last time she'd slept that well. After her date with Riley last night, she couldn't stop smiling. Willow said she was glowing. She liked that description. So Riley wasn't the “normal Joe” she thought she wanted, but he was so much better. He didn't even mention demons once, not a single time the entire night. They went out, saw a movie, got milkshakes after, and then he walked her home. It was almost like it was before, back at Hemery. A nice normal date with a guy who's as close to normal as Buffy thought she could ever have. She sighed happily and looked over at the sleeping Willow next to her.

The wind blew and Buffy shivered. She'd left the window open again. She rolled her eyes at herself. Someday she'd learn to remember to shut it. She reluctantly climbed out of bed, careful not to move too much so Willow could sleep. Buffy went to the window and reached a hand out to close it when she stepped on something. She bent down a picked up the neatly folded paper.

Her heart stopped. It was undeniably familiar. Very slowly with shaking hands, she unfolded the paper. The image of the young girls turned her blood cold. She got a bit dizzy and moved unsteadily to the bed. Willow could feel Buffy's distress even in her sleep and she woke. She sat up and put a hand on Buffy's shoulder.

“Buffy what's wrong?” Willow asked. The slayer didn't say anything, she just handed her friend the paper. That was all she needed to know.

10 minutes later the girls were downstairs. Joyce made them both breakfast, but Buffy didn't touch hers. Willow gave Buffy one last sad look before heading off to school. She didn't bother to ask if Buffy was gonna make it. Joyce put an arm around her daughter and stroked her hair. A few minutes later she called into work. Then she called Giles and told him about the picture. He'd already seen the bodies on the morning news. The girls were found by a brother and sister of 6 and 4 that had gone to the park early hoping to play before they headed to school. The girl was too young to understand why her pretty new friends had fallen asleep in such a place.

After Giles made sure Joyce would look after Buffy who would undoubtedly spend the day blaming herself, he let her off the phone. He looked over at the couch, he couldn't see the other side, but he knew there slept not only the key to his revenge, but a way he could save his slayer from suffering anymore pain at the hands of Angelus.

***

Giles walked down the sidewalk of a particularly desolate street. This neighborhood had been horribly damaged in the earthquake 3 years ago and was declared uninhabitable. A few demons had moved into the abandoned homes, but there were no other beings for miles.

He found a building that appeared to have hardly been touched or at least had been repaired by a demon looking to make himself a nice home. It was an old one car garage. The mechanical door had been nailed down and boarded up around the edges so no light could get in and the door could no longer open even if the small structure still has electricity.

He double checked his coat pockets for any weapons that might be necessary in securing the building. He had been sure to grab a few stakes, a bottle of holy water, and a machete. That ought to cover anything that lives above ground. The door was locked so he kicked it in. It seemed almost effortless in his current state of mind. Something (or somethings) hissed from inside the room. Vampires reacting to the sudden increase in sunlight. It was a den of no more than four. It took next to nothing for Ripper to dust them. He shined his flash light around the room. It was dusty and dirty with dried blood here and there on the floor. It would do nicely.


	5. Misdirection

Buffy was back in the cemetery late the next night. She sighed as she searched. It was getting repetitious. She never found any sign of Angelus and very few demons were out. It’s like they were all hiding from something. When she did come across a new vampire, fresh out of the grave, she was quick to grab him up and question him. He didn’t know anything about Angelus. He claimed the last thing he remembered was “some babe” at the bronze leading him out back. She dusted him with a sigh.

Maybe Spike had found something. She headed to Giles’s place. She didn’t make it out of the gates before she spotted Spike leaning against the wall.

“Spike, what are you doing here?”

“Guy can’t have a smoke in his own cemetery? It’s a free country ya know.”

“Dead people don’t have rights.”

“I was looking for you. Got some information on that newly fanged poof of yours.”

 _That was easy._ “How?”

“Some new born at Willy’s. He was talkin’ all big about how he’s Angelus’s new head crony. Clearly didn’t understand how Angelus works. Thought he was all high now. Anyway, he says captain forehead has plans to be at the bronze tomorrow night. He didn’t know why.”

“The bronze?”

“Tomorrow night.”

“Good. So we’ll be ready.”

“With our stakes nicely sharpened,” Spike added with a small nod.

She left Spike behind feeling a bit confused. _Too easy._

***

Giles spent the day working on his trap. He’d mixed white paint with holy water and coated all four walls and the door. He removed all the wiring to make certain the garage door couldn’t be opened. He heated an iron cross and pressed it against the door knob, marking it. Spike wouldn’t be able to get out. At least not before Giles could stop him. A single chair now sat in the center of the room. He would keep the chains under the table that held the knives, stakes, crosses, and holy water. At his next trip to his private dungeon he would put everything into place. When the time was right he would lead Spike here and trap him. Angelus would come to his aid. Giles wouldn’t just kill him, but take him apart. Maybe if he was feeling up to it, he’d take care of Spike after. Or maybe he’d just leave the miserable vampire to rot.

***

“Did she buy it?” Angelus asked.

“She seemed a bit confused, but she’ll be there,” Spike told him as he sat on the end of the older vampire’s amusingly extravagant new bed.

“Perfect. I need to be able to go out without worrying about her following me.”

“What are you planning?” Spike asked curiously.

“You’ll see. I don’t want to get your hopes up,” Angelus said casually brushing dust off his shirt.

“She expects me to be there with her. Hope that doesn’t ruin your plan,” Spike said though he clearly didn’t care if it was a problem or not.

“Even better. You can watch her, make sure she sticks around. I don’t know how much time I’m going to need, but I’ll make it quick.”

“You should get yourself some wheels. It’s not likely she’d notice you then.”

“Well that’s great advice for next time. For now, I’m starving. I’m thinking we eat out tonight. What do you think?”

“Are you asking me on a date Angelus?”

Angelus smirked. “A date with my boy? What could be better?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You know I can’t bite anyone,” Spike said a bit bitterly as they stepped outside.

“I’m working to change that. For now, you can watch. I like an audience.”

***

Riley met Buffy at her house to drive her to the bronze. She wanted him to be there in case something went wrong, but she knew if she told him what she was up to he would call in the troops. She wanted Angelus dusted, not strapped to a table to be used as a science experiment. So she played it out like it was any old date. Spike was supposed to meet her there. She’d also have to keep _him_ away from Riley. If he found out that Spike was not only a vampire but one who had escaped from the Initiative, she would have some serious explaining to do.

“Thanks for picking me up,” She said.

“No problem. I didn’t think it seemed right to walk all the way there and then spend the night dancing.”

“Yeah, no sense in tiring yourself out before the fun has begun," Buffy replied thinking of the "fun" this night would have in store.

"Well not that you'd get tired. Being the slayer and all. God, I'll never get over that." He looked amazed. "I can't imagine how difficult that must be. Growing up with some divine purpose."

"It's rough, but it has it's perks."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean what good would it be if I was a super freak without super healing powers."

"Super healing? You heal inhumanly fast?" Riley asked excited.

"Yeah, like a great big freak of nature," she sounded a bit bitter.

"Buffy, you're not a freak of nature."

"I know. I just... It's hard. Especially when you can't share the secret with anyone because it's just that, a big secret. Then to top it off you're alone in it and no one else can ever understand how hard it is."

"Well, I might not be a slayer, but you can trust me. Even if you just want to rant about the difficulties of being "the one and only"."

"Thanks," she said with a small smile.

"No problem."

"I mean it. Thank you." She looked him in the eye as she spoke.

He nodded. "You're welcome."

They reached the Bronze faster than Buffy thought possible. Riley laughed when she commented on it. They walked in arm-in-arm. They place was packed but not yet overflowing. One of the more popular all girl punk bands was rocking the stage and the crowd was loving it.

Buffy and Riley grabbed a table. Riley went to get them drinks while Buffy tried to look comfortable in her seat. She scanned the room for possible vampires and found none. Except for one guy with an awful hair cut who may have been unaware of the decade when he had it done. She felt someone approach her from behind and she stiffened preparing to turn and attack.

“All by your lonesome slayer?” Spike asked.

“Actually, no. Riley's here.”

“You brought soldier boy to meet your ex? You sure know how to plan a date.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “He's just here for back-up.”

“I thought I was back-up.” Spike looked offended. 

“He's back-up back-up. I don't want him getting involved unless we run out of options.”

Spike nodded. “Well, I haven't seen him yet, but I'll go find me a nice place to lurk until he turns up.” Spike left Buffy alone to find a place where he could keep an eye on her.

***

Angelus had taken Spike's advice and gotten himself a car. He'd paid for it under a fake name to keep it from drawing attention. He wasn't crazy about driving around in a used car, but it was as unlike him as it could possibly be. Buffy wouldn't give it a second glance.

Outside of Sunnydale was an underground facility. It was a place where people who were turned down for various operations could go to get surgeries done. Of course such things are deeply illegal so the place was kept quiet. Angelus had found out about it while he was asking around Willy's. At first, all of the demons in the place thought he was joking when they asked where a demon could go to get brain surgery, but after several well placed threats a lesser demon with gray skin and horns stepped forward. He gave him directions to the place and scampered off.

Angelus was on his way there. He just needed Spike to keep Buffy distracted while he was out. The place was in the middle of town in the basement of an old law firm that hadn't made it in Sunnydale. The sign said Roberts & Jacoby but according to the demon Angelus spoke to, the place was run by a guy named Jayce. 

Jayce had an unexplainable ability to heal people. He'd done some work on demons and vampires as well.

Angelus went inside and took the stairs down. The hallway was empty but there was a light coming from the doorway on the left. Angelus stepped inside and found his way barred by a large man with a big gun.

“What's your business here?” He asked in a deep voice.

“I'm here to see Jayce,” Angelus told him.

“Do you have an appointment?”

“Don't I need a consultation before I get stitched up?”

“Let him in Rob,” said the voice coming from Rob's headset.

“The doctor will see you,” Rob said. He stepped aside.

“Thanks, pal,” Angelus said with a smirk. He walked into the room which was lined with unopened crates. Through the second door, he found Jayce. A tall, middle aged, man with short brown hair and glasses. He stood next to an operating table. There were steel tables nearby covered in medical tools.

“What can I do for you?” Jayce said, his voice young and energetic. 

“I've got a friend with a bit of a problem. Heard you were the guy to talk to about getting his brain checked.”

“Literally? I haven't had much experience with brain surgery. It's an incredibly difficult thing to do. At least without any sort of damage being made.”

“I've heard a lot of great things about you, but you're right. If I don't think you can pull it off, I'm not letting anywhere near the boy's head.”

“What's his problem exactly?”

“Someone put something in his head. A little electronic chip. If they could put it in there must be a way to get it out. I want it deactivated and removed.”

“A computerized chip? What's it for?”

“Does it matter?”

“I suppose not, but I'd really like to know about it.”

“That's a shame. Can you do it?”

The man thought a moment. “I can't promise I can remove it when I don't know where it's connected or how, but I can take a look at it.”

“I want to see you operate first. The brain is a very delicate thing, I should know. I won't have him damaged by clumsy hands.”

“I understand. I have a heart surgery tomorrow evening. You can come by then.”

“Tomorrow then.”


	6. Hurt and Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a bit of graphic violence

 

“Well, last night was a bust,” Buffy told Spike.

 

“Yeah, guess that informant of mine wasn't as reliable as I'd thought,” Spike shrugged.

 

“Guess not. Thanks for stakin' the place out with me though. I really didn't want to get Riley involved.”

 

“Any time, slayer. I always look forward to a chance to give that sod a sound beating.”

 

“Speaking of, Riley. I'm meeting him here. You should go.”

 

“You're having a date in a cemetery? You really are a master of romance, slayer.”

 

“Shut up, Spike.”

 

Buffy spotted Riley at the gate carrying a quilt under his arm. She turned to shoo Spike away but he was already gone.

 

“So, you ready?” Riley asked when he reached her.

 

“Sure thing.” Buffy smiled. “I've been thinking about this all day.”

 

“Well I thought it was perfect. You're still technically staking out the cemetery, but we also get spend some time together.”

 

“Yep, it's quiet perfect actually. Unless any vampires actually show up. Blood and beheading isn't exactly romantic.”

 

Riley smiled. “Maybe not.” He laid the quilt down on the grass. He sat down and grabbed Buffy's hand to pull her down with him. “It's not exactly unsavory either. Not with you.”

 

***

Willow walked through the door to Giles's house. There were no lights on and no sounds coming from any part of the house.

 

“Hello,” she called. “Giles?”

 

She heard someone coming from the bathroom and tensed. She hadn't seen the light on. Willow used a spell she'd been practicing with Tara to illuminate the room. Spike came in to view and she relaxed.

 

“Spike, it's you. Why all the darkness?”

 

“Creature of the night. I don't need light remember?”

 

“Right. Of course. Where's Giles?”

 

“Don't know. He's been out all day as far as I know.”

 

“That's weird. He wasn't here when I came by yesterday either.”

 

“Maybe he's finally found himself some geeky bird he can shack up and make snooty librarian babies with.”

 

“Maybe,” Willow said unconvinced. “Anyway. I just came to give this book back.” She left the text on the table and left Spike to his darkened safe haven.

 

***

Angelus left his crypt on the way to visit Jayce. He didn't walk far when he heard laughter. Loud, familiar, female laughter. He ducked behind a nearby crypt and peered around the side. Hardly ten feet from him, Buffy and Riley were lying together on an old quilt. They were talking about someone they knew from school and laughing loud enough to wake the dead they were lying on top of.

 

Angelus glared. That look on her face. It was so like the way she'd looked at Angel. So happy, so in love. It was terrible. He growled low unintentionally. He could see Buffy tense and freeze up listening instinctively for movement.

 

“What is it?” He heard Riley ask.

 

“I heard something,” Buffy said looking around.

 

“I didn't hear anything.”

 

“You wouldn't.” She stood up and looked out across the sea of head stones.

 

“Am I missing something?” Riley stood up and looked around with her.

 

She turned to face him. “There's something I should have told you a long time ago. I was worried you'd... judge.”

 

“Buffy. Whatever you have to tell me, I'm here for you. You can trust me.” He laid a reassuring hand on her arm.

 

Angelus held back the growl that threatened.

 

Buffy could feel the menace in the air. “I know. It's just... I dated this guy and he kind of had a dark side. A _very_ dark side. I mean really. It didn't really work out between us and he moved away, but now he's back. Only it's not really him. Sort of. It is but... it's not.”

 

“So, complexity aside... you're afraid of this guy?”

 

Buffy nodded. “Yeah.”

 

“Is he dangerous?”

 

“Very.”

 

Riley looked around. “And you think he'd here.”

 

“I can feel it.”

 

“We should go then.”

 

“Right... yeah.” Buffy strained her eyes trying to see him. She looked across the cemetery and into the forest but she couldn't see anything.

 

Riley quickly gathered up his quilt and they walked together to the edge of the cemetery. He regretted not driving. He didn't even ask if she wanted him to walk home with her. He just kept walking beside her. She was edgy and paranoid the entire walk. She kept looking over her shoulder and watching between the buildings. Riley didn't like the way this guy had her so worked up. Maybe he should get a few of his friends to help track him down. Make him leave Buffy alone. He wouldn't let him hurt her.

 

They reached Buffy's dorm and Buffy left the door open for Riley to follow her inside. He came in and closed the door locking it behind him.

 

“Will you alright here?”

 

She nodded and pushed her hair behind her ear. “Yeah. He- he won't come here.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Positive.”

 

“Alright. I'll see you in class then. Call me if you need anything.”

 

He left. The door shut behind him and he was suddenly filled with unease. He could feel cold menacing eyes watching him. He pressed a hand to the knife on his hip hidden under his civilian clothes for reassurance. Riley left the building and walked toward his own dorm. The unease only increased with each step he took but her never heard or saw anyone.

 

Not at first anyway. As he passed under a street light, he could see a shadow on the ground cast by someone behind him. They followed at the same pace as he walked, but they didn't seem to mind if he noticed them anymore. He kept walking toward his frat where the others would be there to give him a hand. It seemed likely that Buffy's ex had followed them from the cemetery and was behind him now. Buffy had said he was dangerous and if Buffy was afraid of him, then Riley felt he reason to be cautious.

 

Just before Riley could make the turn around the building that would put his frat house in sight, he was grabbed from behind and spun around. He tensed ready to attack, but was never harmed. In front of him stood a man with deep eyes and a rather goth fashion sense.

 

“What are doing with Buffy?” He asked in a deep voice.

 

“As you can see, Buffy's not here. She's home safe. I'm sure you know that since you've been following us,” Riley said bitterly. “What do you want?”

 

“I want you to leave Buffy alone. She doesn't belong to you.”

 

“She doesn't _belong_ to anyone. She's her own person. I suggest _you_ leave her alone.”

 

“You gonna get your little army to come after me if I don't?”

 

The surprise on Riley's face was evident, but he quickly covered it with anger.

 

“Yeah, I know all about your little monster hunter club. Have to say, I'm not a fan.”

 

Riley's jaw clenched. “I don't know what you want with Buffy, but she's not interested in you. Back off.”

 

“Bite me, soldier boy,” he smirked as his faced morphed into that of a vampire.

 

Riley was caught off guard for a moment but quickly recovered and punched the vampire dead in the jaw. He went for a kick to the chest hoping to knock him away so he could reach the stake in his pocket, but the vampire dodged him and instead stead knocked him to the ground. He rolled to the side behind the vampire could pounce on top of him. He leapt gracefully to his feet, but the vampire anticipated the motion and grabbed him around the throat lifting him off the ground. Riley dug at the hand with his nails. He didn't seem to notice as the blood dripped from his hand. He just stood there and watched the soldier's face turn blue.

 

***

 

Buffy sat on Giles's bed. She held her head in her hands and she couldn't contain the tears that poured down her face. Her breathing was erratic and her hands were shaking.

 

She'd woken up feeling refreshed. There was feeling of dread in her gut but she intended to wash it away with a warm shower. She opened the door to her dorm and there he was. Riley Finn. He was lying on the ground, eyes wide open. He stared with those cold dead eyes right up at the ceiling. He skin was discolored and cold. Buffy knelt beside him with his hand in hers, tears blurring her vision. The hall filled with curious students. She got to her feet and ran. All the way to Giles's house.

 

She just wanted to be somewhere she'd feel safe. Her mother would be at work but Giles would be home. She needed him to be.

 

The house was empty when she got there. Except of course for Spike who was asleep on the couch. She ignored him and went upstairs. Giles wasn't there either. He must have gone out for something. Buffy sat down on the end of his bed trying to hold it together. She felt like she was breaking apart. She scooted back on the bed and sat against the head board. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Her head fell onto her knees as she cried. Sobs shook her whole body and felt like she was suffocating.

 

Her heard someone come in the door downstairs. “Giles?” Buffy called.

 

“Buffy?” She heard Willow ask.

 

Willow came up the stairs and found her. “Oh, Buffy. What's wrong? Are you hurt?”

 

Buffy shook her head. “It's Riley... Angelus... He killed him.” She couldn't contain the tears that poured down her face.

 

Willow moved and sat beside her. She wrapped her arms around her friend. She didn't know what to say. She'd never lost someone like that before. She did all that she knew how to comfort Buffy and hoped Giles would be home soon to help. He was like a father too her, he'd know what to do.

 

When Giles finally returned, Buffy was lying calming on her side. Willow sat next to her stroking her hair. The tears had stopped, but she was left with an empty sort of ache inside. She felt hollow and broken.

 

Giles found the girls upstairs. Willow thought he looked strained like he's been working hard on something physically demanding. She let it go knowing Buffy was the more important focus of the moment.

 

“Angelus... He-he got Riley,” Willow said softly.

 

“Dear God,” Giles whipped his glasses before returning them to his face. He went and sat on the bed next to Buffy and put a hand on her shoulder. She sat up and wrapped her arms around his and cried into his shoulder.

 

“Willow, why don't you go make us some tea. Maybe hot chocolate for Buffy.”

 

“Sure,” she said and left the room.

 

She came back with the drinks and Giles coaxed the warm mug into Buffy's hands. She sat and stared at the dark liquid. She sipped on it for a minute and Giles could see her relax a bit.

 

“What happened?” He finally dared to ask.

 

“We... me and Riley. We were in the cemetery. All of a sudden it was like I could _feel_ him. Watching us. So we left. Riley walked me home and then he left to get back to his place. I... I shouldn't have let him go alone. What was I thinking?”

 

“This isn't your fault, Buffy. This is Angelus. If he wanted Riley dead he would have found a way regardless. It's what he does.”

 

“He has to be stopped,” she whispered.

 

“Truly he does,” Giles agreed.

 

***

 

Spike woke that evening to find Willow sitting the chair beside him quietly watching the news. He stretched and looked up at her.

 

“Hey, Red. Something wrong?”

 

“It's Riley. Angelus killed him last night.”

 

“I never liked that soldier boy, but I'm sorry for your loss pet.”

 

Willow nodded staring sadly at the screen.

 

“Right, well.” Spike stood up and crammed his boots on. “Places to be. See you around.”

 

He left Giles's place and walked along the street to meet Angelus. He couldn't imagine what the older vamp had planned, but killing Riley had definitely been on his to do list. At least he was finally taking the next step. Spike hated it when Angelus chose to sit around and let everyone build up a false sense of security. He preferred hot adrenalin to cold fear.

 

He could sense another nearby vampire as he walked through town. No fledgling would set off the radar like that. He smirked at Angelus's attempt at stealth.

 

“Thought we had a date. Or are you just going to watch me all night?” He called into the shadows.

 

Angelus chuckled as he stepped out from the shadow of a nearby awning. “You should have noticed me two blocks ago. You're getting slow.”

 

“Guess my senses are worse for lack of wear.”

 

“I think it's time we change that. Don't you?” Angelus led the way into an old law building.

 

“Heard about the boy. Good on you.”

 

“He deserved something slower, but I had an appointment that couldn't be missed.”

 

A guard let them into a room filled with crates and boxes. It led into a second room with several tables covered in things he couldn't quite make out. Spike grabbed Angelus to stop him.

 

“Where are we?”

 

“Fear not, boyo. I have found your salvation.” Angelus pulled him into the next room. Spike cringed at the sight of all the medical tools.

 

“Never took you for the type to have a medical kink.”

 

Angelus rolled his eyes. An older man came into the room and started putting things in order.

 

“Who might you be then?” Spike asked him

 

“Jayce.”

 

“Jayce is going to fix that problem of yours,” Angelus told him.

 

“You... you found a doctor to fix this chip in my head?”

 

“I did.” Angelus smiled.

 

“Didn't know you cared.”

 

“Up on the table,” Jayce directed. “Let's get you fixed up.”


	7. Helping Hand

 

The sun had set when Buffy opened her eyes. She'd fallen asleep in Giles's room and he'd left her there to rest. She was feeling a bit better after spending the day grieving. Willow had left her a pile of notes from the classes they shared. The sticky note on top said that Professor Walsh had canceled her class the day before.

 

Angelus couldn't be allowed to keep this up. He was hurting people she cared about. Her family and friends were all in danger. Every time they stepped out of the house they may as well be wearing targets on their chests. She couldn't find him. She had no idea where he was hiding. He could see her and everyone around her but she hadn't even caught a glimpse of him. It was possible he might turn up to gloat and see the broken look on her face. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction. If Angelus turned up she'd stake him on the spot. No witty banter. No spells. Just dust. Buffy knew if she waited for him to show up someone else could get hurt. If she was going to take the fight to him, she would need some help.

 

She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and went downstairs. It was dark and she fumbled a bit trying to find the switch the lamp. She heard someone in the kitchen and she found the switch she laid on eyes on Spike. He was standing on the other side of the counter dumping wheat-a-bix into a mug.

 

“Evening,” he said looking like a kid with his hand caught in a cookie jar.

 

Buffy couldn't help but give a small smile. “Hi.” Her voice was hoarse from crying.

 

“Feeling alright?” He asked sympathetically.

 

Buffy nodded. “Better than before.”

 

“That's good.” He looked relieved.

 

“You heard what happened then?”

 

“I did.”

 

“He has to be stopped. Before this goes any further. I should have done something sooner...”

 

“I take it you want my help.”

 

“I don't know who else to ask.”

 

“Whatever you need slayer.”

 

The phone rang. Buffy was quick to pick it up feeling an uncomfortable knot in her stomach. “Hello?” she asked.

 

Spike could hear a female voice practically buzzing on the other end but he was too far away to hear. Buffy didn't say anything else. She dropped the phone onto the hook and ran out the door.

 

***

Joyce Summers parked her car outside her home. She balanced a bag of groceries one hip as she walked along the side walk to the front door. Someone stepped from the shadows into her path.

 

“Hello, Joyce.”

 

She was momentarily stunned but she didn't falter. “Hello, Angelus.”

 

“It's nice seeing you again.”

 

“I don't want to play games with you. You leave me alone and you stay the hell away from my daughter, understand me?”

 

Angelus stepped a bit closer revealing yellow eyes and pointed teeth. “I'm not here to play with you. This game is for Buffy.”

 

Joyce dropped the bag and stepped back gripping her keys tightly in her right hand. Angelus came at her meaning to grab her, but struck him hard in the stomach with the point of her key. He doubled over like he'd been stabbed giving Joyce the chance to run to the door. She had barely unlocked it and stepped inside when Angelus reached it. He slammed into the barrier. He growled in frustration before running off into the night.

 

***

Giles made it home later than he'd meant too. After Riley's death he'd decided to put his plan into action posthaste. Spike was lounging on the sofa watching a soap opera when he came in.

 

“Where's Buffy?”

 

“I dunno. She got a call and ran off. Looked important.”

 

“Right. Do you have any idea where she went?”

 

“Nope.”

 

“Well you're certainly helpful.”

 

“I do what I can for my friendly neighborhood librarian.”

 

“Good to hear. I need your help.”

 

That had his attention. He stood up and walked around the couch to see him. “ _My_ help? What could I _possibly_ do for you?”

 

“I've come across some information on Angelus.”

 

“Have you now?”

 

“Don't interrupt, Spike. It looks to be quite promising, but it could turn out to be your average nest. Either way I'm going to need backup going in.”

 

“Shouldn't you wait for Buffy?”

 

“Are you saying you're incapable?”

 

“ _No_ -”

 

“Good. Then you can help.”

 

“I'm not exactly the helping kind.”

 

“Buffy is in no condition to be fighting Angelus. If you hate him as much as you claim to you will help me to destroy him or _I_ shall destroy _you_ to insure that you aren't running to your sire with every bit of information you can.”

 

Giles's stance was very firm and aggressive and Spike was truthfully a bit intimidated. He felt suddenly quite young and small under the watcher's gaze.

 

“Alright, then. Let's kill the sodding bastard.”

 

***

“Mom! Mom?” Buffy called running to the house. “Mom!”

 

“Buffy! Buffy, it's alright.” Joyce came into the kitchen to meet her daughter. “It's alright. I'm fine.” She hugged her tight.

 

“I was so worried.”

 

“I know, but I'm safe inside. I _am_ safe inside right?”

 

Buffy nodded. “There's something to the saying 'safe as houses' after all.”

 

“Good.”

 

“What happened?”

 

“Why don't I make some cocoa and I'll tell you all about it.”

 

***

As Giles drove, Spike began to question where they were headed more and more. Spike knew the old man wasn't stupid, so why would he think Angelus would ever hole up in a place like this? Every street was old and hadn't been cared for in decades. The houses were run down and the cars parked beside them were just the same.

 

“Where did you get this information from anyway?” Spike asked.

 

“An old friend.”

 

“Exactly how _old_ is this friend of your?”

 

“Shut up, Spike. We're almost there.”

 

“Almost where. This place is a dump. You're not going to find Angelus here.”

 

“Where will I find him then?”

 

“How should I know?”

 

Giles parked in front of an old garage. Spike was instantly aware of how much time Giles had spent in this place.

 

“You've been here before.”

 

Giles was caught off guard having forgot the vampire's keen sense of smell. “Yes. I took a look around. Staked the place out for a while.”

 

“What for?”

 

“Any signs that there was indeed a vampire here. Are you coming inside or what?”

 

Spike hesitated at the door. “Fine. Alright.” He swept inside and Giles closed the door behind him. The light flickered on illuminating a rather empty room with freshly painted white walls.

 

“Care to explain?” Spike asked.

 

“Yes. I needed a way to trap Angelus.”

 

“Well in case you were unsure, I am _not_ Angelus.”

 

“Decidedly not, but every trap needs bait.”

 

“Bait? Me? Are you senile?”

 

“Oh, save it. I know where you've been running off to. You too still share a bond. How can you not? It's in your blood.”

 

“Great so you've baited your trap. What now? We wait for him notice I'm missing? He's not exactly the most keen observer. That could take decades.”

 

Giles walked around to the table he kept covered. “Exactly. That's why you're going to call to him.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Sires share a very deep bond with their childer. If you call out for him he'll come to your aid. So call.”

 

Spike glared. “I'm not a bloody song bird. If you want Angelus, you can get him your self.” He went to the door and tried to turn the knob, but it burnt his hand. He hissed.

 

“If you won't cooperate we can do this the hard way.” Giles gripped a rather large bottle of holy water in his hand. He turned quickly to face Spike and flung the bottle forward covering him with it.

 

Spike screamed and fell to the ground holding his burning face in his hands. Giles grabbed a length of chain and wrapped it around his torso several times and locked behind him. He was effectively trapped and utterly furious.

 

Giles chose a knife from the table. “Last chance, Spike. Once I get started, I'm not stopping until he bursts through that door.”

 

“Go to hell!” Spike shouted still burning from the water.

 

“Fine then.”


	8. The Sire's Duty

 

 _Angelus! Angelus!_ Screaming echoed around in his ears and he stopped in his tracks. Someone was yelling his name. Screaming, in deep pain. _Angelus! Sire!_

 

 _Spike?_ Angelus tried to reach his childer in the same way but could barely touch his mind. There was nothing but pulses of blinding pain. It was possible that Spike wasn't even aware he was calling out for him. It was like being trapped in a nightmare on his end. There was only pain and fear. His mind was completely out of control.

 

Angelus left the room where he'd been pacing. He went upstairs and ran from the crypt. He ran toward the sound of Spike's voice. _Angelus! Sire, please! Please._

 

Angelus growled. He was not only screaming, but begging now as well. Spike wasn't one to beg. Whoever had done this would pay dearly.

 

He finally reached a place where he could make out Spike's scent. The screaming was so much louder here. Angelus looked around but he couldn't seem to pinpoint the right building. The noise was echoing around in his head and throwing him off. The screaming stopped for a few seconds. It wasn't long but it was long enough for Angelus to focus solely on Spike's scent. When he did, he caught the smell of a second person. Rupert Giles.

 

Angelus found the right building and kicked the door right from it's hinges. It slammed down and slid across the floor as wood dust rose from the splintered wood. Angelus charged in. Spike was wrapped in chains and lying on the floor covered in blood and burns. Giles stood over him holding a knife and lighter.

 

“Finally,” He said as Angelus entered. “Were the poor boy human he'd be long since dead.”

 

Angelus was beyond speech. His vision was tinted red and his face shifted without his conscious decision. He was across the room in the blink of an eye. He knocked Giles down to the floor falling on top his him. He landed with on knee digging into the man's ribs and the other cracking against the concrete floor. Giles caught his hands as he swung down to punch him in the face.

 

“I've too long for this,” Giles spat. “I've come to far for you beat me.” They rolled across the fighting to end up on top.

 

Angelus won out. “You may have counted on me coming to Spike's rescue, but you really shouldn't have made him beg.” His fist connected with Giles's face. “That's my job.”

 

Giles shoved the vampire off and got to his feet. He reached behind him to the table and grabbed the first thing he reached. A long, inornate dagger. He waited for Angelus to make the next move.

 

Angelus risked a glance over at Spike. He was still concision, but just barely. He held his eyes weakly open watching the fight progress. The sight of his battered body gave his anger fresh venom. He growled and leapt at Giles, swift and light. He got in close dodging Giles's blow until he was too close for the man to reach him with the angle of his blade. Angelus grabbed his arm and broke the wrist forcing him to drop the blade. He grabbed Giles around the neck and threw him into the wall.

 

Both vampire's could feel the threat of the rising sun. They no longer had enough time to make it make home and there was nothing there for Angelus to heal Spike. He looked from Spike to Giles and decided Spike's health presided over his wrath. Vengeance could wait.

 

He found the lock to the chains and tore it right from the metal. He unbound Spike and lifted him into his arms. He noticed a set of car keys on the table. He snatched them up, carefully so he wouldn't drop Spike, and went outside. Angelus found Giles's car and set Spike carefully in the back. He climbed behind the wheel and sped them home as fast the machine would take them.

 

***

 

Buffy sat on the couch watching the television screen flicker from scene to scene. The actors moved about and talked. Events happened and the plot unfolded, but Buffy wasn't paying attention. Her mother was lying on the couch next to her. She'd fallen asleep after the second movie Buffy had put on. The young slayer had insisted Joyce spend some time with her. The panic of her near loss was driving her crazy. Too soon after Riley's death, she'd nearly lost her mother. She felt like everything was spinning out of her control.

 

She heard the phone ring in the next room. She immediately wondered what could be wrong for anyone to be calling so late at night. Buff jumped up from the couch and picked up the phone. A nurse at Sunnydale Memorial responded to her answer. She hung after after receiving the information and immediately called Xander.

 

He was groggy when he answered but he perked up when Buffy told what was going on. He and Anya picked her up ten minutes later and they were at the hospital in no time. They asked for the room number and raced down the hall to find it.

 

Buffy reached the room first where she found Giles unconscious on a hospital bed. He'd been badly beaten. There were few parts of him that weren't covered in bandages or bruises, but if his knuckles were anything to go by it looked like he'd put up one hell of a fight.

 

Buffy sunk down into the chair beside him and waited for him to wake up.

 

***

 

Angelus drove right through the cemetery gates. He kept going until the grave stones were too dense to drive through before pulling Spike from the back and carrying him quickly to the safety of the crypt. He took Spike downstairs and set him in his bed. He pulled the younger vampire's coat and shirt off to get a good look at his wounds. There were cuts, bruises, and burns, but nothing that looked permanent. There was a burn near his eye that looked concerning. It was close enough that he could have lost that eye. Angelus growled, rage boiling up inside him again.

 

Angelus bit into his own wrist drawing blood. He pressed the cut to Spike's mouth, tilting his head up and forcing his mouth open. Spike swallowed weakly. Angelus let him drink until he couldn't afford to let him take anymore. He definitely needed more. He didn't look any stronger even with as much as Angelus gave him.

 

He needed to find someone to get Spike more blood while he watched over him. If Buffy found him like this he'd be dust when Angelus returned. Angelus walked over to the wall opposite the entrance. He pressed his ear to the brick and was pleased to hear the quite trickle of water. He pounded his fists into the brick smashing it rumble and making a hole big enough to walk through. It lead into a side branch of the Sunnydale sewer system. He followed the tunnel quickly and arrived underneath Willy's. He climbed up into the back and walked around to the bar. A few heads turned and others blatantly looked away. He looked around until he spotted a young vampire sitting by himself.

 

He strode over to him and sat down in the booth across from him. The younger vampire looked intimidated but he didn't run away like they often did.

 

“I've got a job for you,” Angelus told him.

 

“I'm not looking for work. I'm just fine thanks,” He said bravely.

 

“I wasn't asking. What's your name?”

 

“Derek.”

 

“Well, Derek. I have a bit of a problem and you're the solution.”

 

“I am?”

 

“You will be, or you'll be dust.”

 

***

 

Buffy sat in the chair by Giles's hospital bed. She'd stayed over night watching over him. She called her mother to let her know what was going on and went right back to Giles. Xander brought her snacks and coffee and Anya complained quietly about the hospital taking all their money when they could buy the same snacks cheaper somewhere else.

 

It wasn't until that afternoon that Giles's finally woke up. Buffy gave him a smile and said she was glad to see him awake before she went to get the doctor. Buffy stood to the side waiting for the doctor to stop asking questions so she could talk to Giles. Giles made up a story about taking a walk on the wrong side of town and getting jump by four guys in ski masks. The doctor was finally satisfied enough to leave after giving Giles a stern warning not to move from the bed.

 

“How are you?” Buffy asked him.

 

“Well... I've been worse.”

 

“What happened?”

 

Giles sighed. “I wanted to finish it. After Riley's death I knew that Angelus would not be satisfied tormenting you with innocent lives. He'd start killing people close to you and while it would drive you harder it would only make it more difficult for you to succeed.”

 

“So you went after him on your own!” Buffy accused furiously. She paced across the room before returning to his bedside.

 

“You were in no condition to fight. I was trying to do what was best for you. My only regret is that I failed.”

 

“You could have _died_! You should have at least taken Spike.”

 

“It was irresponsible of me I know.”

 

“ _Irresponsible_? Giles I know you have a vendetta but you can't just throw yourself into the line of fire. We have to be in this together. _All_ _of us._ Me, you, Xander, Willow. It's the only way we're going to come out of this on top. All of us are in danger. We are all being threatened here. If we break apart to go after personal feuds nothing good is going to happen.”

 

“Clearly made the wrong choice-”

 

“Yes, you did and it's going to happen again. I want you to remain as from Angelus as possible. As soon as your discharged you're going straight home and you're staying there.”

 

“Buffy, I'm an adult.”

 

“An adult making childish decisions. You're the one who's supposed to be watching over me. Not the other way around. Angelus is clearly too tempting for you. I need you to back off. Stay home and stay out of it. If I need you I'll let you know, but until then you can stay put. It's too much for me to be running all over Sunnydale at all hours of the night. I mean Riley, then my mom, then you-”

 

“Your mother?”

 

“Yeah. You weren't home so you wouldn't have heard, but Angelus went after my mom. Unlike you she made the right call and she ran indoors. He didn't even touch her.” Buffy sighed feeling well and truly drained. “Just stay out of it Giles.”

 

She left him alone and had Xander drive her home. He'd already taken Anya home when she'd gotten too tired to wait around any longer so the drive was pretty quite. Xander knew Buffy well enough not to ask any questions when she was barely keeping herself together.

 

***

 

Angelus was relieved to find Spike exactly how he'd left him when he returned. Derek dragged in a woman they'd knocked out on the way back. Angelus rolled his eyes and told him to move faster as the weight of the second body slowed the fledgling down.

 

“Sorry, but she'd not exactly the smallest of women.”

 

“You're a vampire.”

 

“That doesn't seem to mean much for physical strength.”

 

“Maybe you're doing it wrong,” Angelus taunted. “Hurry up.”

 

Derek finally got the woman over to the bed. Angelus fed her blood into Spike's mouth as he'd done with his own. The color finally started to return to Spike's chalky skin and Angelus sighed with relief. He sent Derek off to the fetch another one. By the end of the night the piled at the end of the bed were stacked high enough that Spike could see them. That is if he would ever open his eyes. Angelus was starting to worry if he would ever recover.

 

Angelus had Derek sleep on the first floor of the crypt. He laid next to Spike to be nearby in case he needed anything. The sun rose and the vampires fell asleep. Angelus was still worrying what would happen should Buffy find them now when he fell unconscious.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. In The Lion's Den

 

Spike was groaning in his sleep. He shifted and turned. The noise grew louder until he out right yelled waking Angelus. The vampire rolled over to see his damaged childer.

 

“Spike, boy, what's wrong,” he said still groggy with sleep.

 

“Hurts,” Spike whined unable to think or speak clearly.

 

Angelus groaned. “Alright, hang on.” He climbed out of bed and went upstairs to find Derek who was curled up on the cold floor. He kicked him awake.

 

“I'm going out,” he told to irritated fledgling. “Don't let anyone in here.”

 

“It's midday,” Derek said sleepily.

 

“I know that. That's why I'm going and you're not. You have no idea what stealth means. Look after, Spike.”

 

He went back downstairs and out through the tunnel. He took the path through the sewer and went until he could find a grate he could safely climb out of. He needed to find someone quickly so he could get back to Spike.

 

***

 

Willow went to visit Giles during her free period. She nearly cried when she saw him all battered and bruised. She tried to joke and seem cheery but she was secretly worried about him. A nurse brought in his lunch and Willow left him to eat his meal.

 

Willow went back to school and stopped by her dorm. Buffy kept an old ring of Angel's in the drawer beside her bed. It was lying next to the matching ring of her own. Willow took the ring and map of Sunnydale and left. She went down to Tara's dorm knowing her friend would be in studying for her next class. Tara opened the door and let her in, happy to see her.

 

“What brings you by? N-not that I'm not glad you're here. I just... I meant did you need anything?”

 

Willow smiled. “Yeah I did actually. I wondered if you could help me with a spell. A locator spell. Only I don't know if this person I'm trying to find has any protective spells against finding them. I thought maybe if you helped me we would be strong enough to break through any barriers.”

 

“Uh, yeah. I could help with that.”

 

“Great.” They smiled at each other. “Oh, dang it! I didn't bring anything with me,” Willow said suddenly upset. “I should have grabbed them from my dorm.”

 

“It's okay. I think I have everything here.”

 

“Really? Oh, good. I can pay you back for it.”

 

“Don't worry about it. I wasn't really going to use it for anything anyway. I mean, I only really do magic with you anymore anyway...”

 

“Well then, let's get started.”

 

Tara handed Willow the book with the right incantation so she could go over it. Willow read the list of supplies so Tara could collect them. They set everything up and Willow held the claddagh in her hand as they spoke the words together. With their magics combined, they had no trouble marking the map before them.

 

Willow smiled. “Perfect. Thanks so much.” She grabbed the map and pocketed the ring. She almost left without anything more, but she stopped. “Tara? Don't think that I only come by when I need something. I really do like seeing you.”

 

Tara smiled. “Me too.”

 

Willow left campus and went to the cemetery marked on the map. She noticed tire tracks in the grass. It looked like someone had sped right though the cemetery gates like their life depended on it. She followed the tracks which eventually stopped at the parked car that had made them. It was Giles's car. She check the map and found that the crypt she was looking for wasn't far off.

 

The crypt on the map was large and easy to spot even where it was clustered amongst several others. If Angelus thought the place was discreet, he was sorely mistaken. Willow crept in quietly. She cast a small light like a candle flame to help her see without immediately giving her away.

 

There was someone laying on the floor. She walked closer to see a young man curled up on the floor next to opening in the floor. There seemed to be a ladder going down. Willow thought he must be one of Angelus's minions set to guard him. She snuck past keeping her eyes on the sleeping vampire and climbed down the ladder.

 

There were a few candles lit in the chamber below. Willow stepped into the room and put out her own light. The room was almost empty except for a few tables and a bed. Someone was lying in the bed. She walked closer until she could make out the pale skin and bleach blond hair. There were several dark spots on his skin that looked like bruises.

 

Her eyes widened and she stared for a moment before turning to leave. Spike shifted on the bed behind her and she stopped. Her heart pounded in her chest. She looked back and saw that he'd merely turned over and hadn't noticed her. She let out a quiet breath and went back to the ladder and climbed up as quietly as possible.

 

The vampire was still asleep by the opening. She snuck past him and went out the way she came.

 

***

Angelus came back to the crypt carrying a woman over his shoulder. He dropped her down on the bed waking Spike. He groaned and blinked up at his sire.

 

“Eat, Spike. You need it.”

 

Spike just groaned either unwilling or unable to speak. Angelus rolled his eyes. He walked over to Spike's side of the bed. He reached across and pulled the woman over by her hair and make a cut in her throat. He held it over Spike's mouth and fed him like a child.

 

The entire room smelt of humans. It was starting make Angelus hungry himself. It had been difficult grabbing someone in the daylight without getting scorched. He'd have to ignore the hunger pangs until sunset. He watched the blood flow into Spike's mouth and licked his lips.

 

Finally the body was drained and Angelus shoved it off the of bed. Spike went back to sleep and Angelus went upstairs. Derek was asleep at his post and Angelus kicked him.

 

“Wake up,” he growled. He sniffed the air catching the scent of someone who shouldn't have been allowed access. “What have you done, boy?”

 

“Done?” Derek muttered sleepily. “I didn't do anything.”

 

“Exactly. You let that witch slip past you.”

 

“What witch?” Derek stood and stretched.

 

“You would know if you hadn't been napping when you should have been watching over Spike. She could have killed him. Now she knows he's here. She'll run right to Buffy. Do you know what you've caused?” Angelus raged.

 

Derek shuddered and Angelus glared at him. “I- I'm sorry, sire. I-”

 

“There is no excuse for this!” Angelus pinned him against the wall. “I should stake you right here. Rip your head off with my bare hands.” He ignored Derek whimpered pleading. He backed up a step. “But I'm feeling generous. You will stay here and let me know when the slayer storms in. Just scream. I'll hear.”

 

He went back downstairs and slept soundly the rest of the day.

 

***

 

Spike healed far faster than Angelus had expected. It was only a matter of days before he was up and walking around the crypt. Angelus wouldn't let him go out and hunt. He wanted Spike's first kill since he was chipped to be special. Spike was getting impatient, but Angelus insisted that until his reflexes were back up to par, he'd have to stay put. He'd suffered a great deal of muscle damage and showed as he moved around. He hid every wince and pained noise from Angelus but the elder vampire wasn't impressed.

 

Finally the night came that Angelus agreed he was fighting fit. The strut was back in his walk and the bite back in his bark. Angelus smiled proudly at his childe's swift and flawless recovery.

 

“Before we head out, I need to tell you something,” Angelus start while Spike pushed on his boots.

 

“If you're gonna go all mushy about how glad you are I'm alright, don't bother.”

 

Angelus rolled his eyes. “I was never worried. While I was out, a few nights ago, Willow came here.”

 

“Willow?” Spike asked surprised.

 

“She must have used a spell to look for me. She found you instead. Buffy will know by now that you've been playing her.”

 

Spike shook his head. “Well, that's over I guess. Maybe it's better this way. She was going to figure it out eventually. She'd not an idiot.”

 

“If I hadn't failed with Joyce she wouldn't have come. She would have-”

 

“Joyce? What about Joyce?”

 

“She stabbed me and got away,” Angelus said bitterly.

 

“You went after her?” Spike was outraged. “Why in hell would you do that?”

 

“She's Buffy's mother. Her death would have been crippling. It would have been perfect.”

 

“For you maybe. Joyce is the only reason I didn't step right into the sun when Dru left me. She the only who cared!”

 

“I really don't care about your mommy issues, Spike.”

 

“You leave Joyce Summers be. She'd off limits,” Spike growled as he stood and face Angelus.

 

Angelus returned the primal sound. “Are you challenging me, boy?”

 

“I'm not your _boy_ , Angelus.”

 

“No, right. You're a momma's boy,” He taunted.

 

Spike roared and tackled Angelus to the ground. Angelus laughed as Spike sat on top of him. He pulled back his arm and Angelus caught his fist before it could meet its mark. “She's only human. What's so special about her, huh?”

 

Spike climbed off him. “You wouldn't understand. You never had a family.” He turned and climbed up the ladder. He left the crypt and walked out into the night. The wind felt nice on his face, but it didn't comfort him enough to stop the tears from falling.

 

***

 

Buffy hadn't left her mother's house in days other than to check in on Giles. The doctor said they'd let him go home soon as long as he promised to wear his neck brace. Joyce was a bit paranoid of anyone leaving the house after dark, but Angelus being on the loose was no excuse to shirk in her slayer duties. He wasn't the only vampire in town.

 

After Willow had came to her about Spike, she'd been out asking around. It seemed clear that he'd been lying to her, but she didn't understand why. He really did hate Angelus, but maybe the family ties were too strong for him to fight against him. Giles probably had some idea about how vampire blood lines worked, but she couldn't ask him. She didn't want him to know any more than he had too.

 

The Summer's girls finished dinner that night and Buffy offered to clean up. Joyce kissed her goodnight and went upstairs. Buffy took the dishes to the sink and put the left-overs in the fridge. She shivered as she felt a pair of eyes settle on her. She glanced around the room making she was alone and looked outside. His blond hair was like a beacon even in the shadows. It seemed to reflect the light from where he stood on the edge of the shadows.

 

She stepped out onto the back deck. “Spike, what the hell are doing?”

 

He stepped into the light. “I heard about your mum.”

 

“And what? Came to finish the job?”

 

“I take it Willow told you where I've been.”

 

“She told me everything. Like how you were covered in cuts and bruises. How can you side with him when he does that to you?”

 

“You think Angelus did that?” He snorted amused. “So the watcher didn't tell you then.”

 

“Tell me what?”

 

“I bet he made up some crap story about being in the wrong place at the wrong time and Angelus just _happened_ to be there.” He shook his head.

 

“Tell me _what_ , Spike?”

 

“Your watcher is a lot more sadistic than you think. He came to me, said he'd found Angelus. He said we should go and take him out so you wouldn't have to. So I went with him.” Spike felt his hands shake at the memory. He lit a cigarette and dragged in a breath letting it out slowly.

 

“It was a trap. He'd spent a helluva lot of time setting it up, too. Cross burnt into the door knob, whips and chains all over the place.”

 

“What are you saying?” Buffy felt sick. She knew exactly where this was going.

 

“He tied me up. Tortured me for hours.” He took another drag on his cigarette. “Until Angelus burst in. Beat the ever loving hell out of the filthy sod and got me out.”

 

Buffy stared at him with wide eyes. “I don't believe you.”

 

“Believe what you like, pet. I only came to make sure Joyce was okay.” He dropped his cigarette and put it out with his boot. “It's probably best you don't tell her I came by,” He said sadly.

 

Spike turned and walked away. Back into the shadows. Buffy stared after him in disbelief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and suggestions would be very much appriciated. I seem to find myself with a terrible case of writer's block on this one.


	10. Chapter 10

Buffy and Xander were at the hospital with Giles the next morning. The doctor was letting him go home. He asked Buffy to make sure Giles kept up with all of his medication and kept the brace around his neck. They got him in a wheel chair and Buffy pushed him out to Xander's car. Giles and Xander chatted on the drive home but Buffy stayed quiet. She was tense and angry. She hoped that it translated to concern when the others looked over at her.

Xander dropped them both off and left for work. Buffy helped Giles get settled on the couch with a blanket and a cup of tea. She sat down in the chair beside him. She found herself watching his face for any sign of guilt, if not for what he'd done then for lying about it. There was nothing there. He just looked tired as he took a sip of his tea and relaxed. Maybe Spike was lying. But why would he? It wouldn't be like him. He was manipulative, but she couldn't think of a time when he'd out right lied.

“Giles?” 

“Yes?” He looked at her from over his cup.

“Is there something you wanted to tell me?”

“No, I don't believe so. Why do you ask?”

“I just wondered.” They let the silence return for a moment.

“What I was really wondering was... The doctors. The said they found you in a pretty bad part of town.”

“Yes, it was rather awful in fact.”

“Angelus. He doesn't usually hand around in places like that. He's more the executive suite type,” Buffy said nervously, trying not to fidget.

“I suppose he simply didn't what to be found.” 

“How did you find him?”

“I spoke to an informant who pointed me in the right direction,” Giles said too quickly.

Buffy thought for a moment. It was clear he was hiding something. “It doesn't seem like you to be so reckless.”

“I agreed I was irresponsible. Just what are you getting at?”

Buffy steeled herself for his possible counterattack. “Spike.”

“What about him?”

“Willow ran into him. She said he was all beaten and bruised. She didn't get a very good look, but she said he looked terrible.”

Giles lowered his glasses from his face and cleaned them off. “Perhaps she was mistaken.”

“Don't lie to me. I talked to him last night. He said you did that to him.”

He stiffened. “You would believe Spike over me?”

“Don't play games, Giles. There's no way you got away from Angelus on your own. Not with how beaten down you were. He destroyed you and then something distracted him and he let you go.” She took a deep breath. “What did you do to Spike?”

Giles sighed. “There are some things that I cannot tell you.”

Buffy sprang to her feet. “That's it? You're going to talk to me all Watcher and Slayer? We are so much more than that. I have always trusted you and now... Spike was our ally. You tortured him. All for some stupid vendetta. Do you really think this is how Jenny would want to be honored?”

“Don't you talk to me about Jenny! She was the love of my life. That monster killed her all to get at you.” Giles moved like he wanted to stand before remembering it was a bad idea.

“So this is my fault?”

“That's not what I meant.”

“It doesn't matter! Sinking to his level or whatever it is you think you need to do... it has to stop. I want you out of this one. Anything to do with Angelus is longer your business. You're done.”

“Buffy-”

Buffy stormed out of the apartment. She leaned against the door outside and gathered herself together before walking home.

***

Willow sat on the couch with Buffy pacing the floor in front of her. Eventually Xander came in, still in his work clothes, and sat down next to Willow.

“Is this everyone then?” He asked.

“Looks like,” Willow replied. “Still don't know why we aren't meeting at Giles's place.”

“Don't you think he'd want to be here, Buff. I mean he can't really help with his neck all braced up but-”

“No. Giles stays out of this,” Buffy said with fierce determination killing all further Giles related questions before they could begin.

Xander and Willow exchanged confused looks. “Okay,” Xander said. “So what's the end game here? Are we going for the kill or are we putting the soul back in soulless?”

There was a thump toward the back of the house. Buffy turned and ran to the kitchen. Spike was lying face first on the tile floor.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm checking for ants. What do you think I'm doing?” He stood and fixed his coat. “I was trying to be all stealthy when your doormat tripped me up. You ought to nail that thing down. Someone could break their neck.”

“The big bad bested by a doormat,” Xander commented.

“Sounds like a children's book,” Willow joked.

“Guys, I need to talk to Spike alone,” Buffy said.

“We'll just be in the living room,” Willow pulled Xander away before he could make any protests.

“Thought you might be needing some help,” Spike said.

Buffy nodded. “I talked to Giles. Your story checks out.”

“I'm sorry.”

“What for?”

Spike leaned against the counter. “You trusted him. He turned out to be just as dark as the monster you've been chasing. He lied and he went behind your back. That must hurt.”

“Why do you care?”

He shrugged. “Guess I prefer it when I'm the one hurting you.” He smirked.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “You're right though. I need your help, but I need to know you're with me on this. If Giles was able to use you to get to Angelus-”

Spike waved his hand as if pushing the thought away. “That was nothing. Just a vampire blood line fluke. I was in pain and he could feel it. He probably did it more for himself than to save me.”

“So, there won't be any “blood line flukes” when I move to put a stake through his chest?”

“Not a one,” Spike said shaking his head. “Don't worry, slayer. I've got your back.”

Buffy nodded, but she didn't feel entirely certain. “Willow, Xander?” she called.

The pair came back into the room. They looked from Buffy to Spike, uncertain of what was said.

“Here's the plan. Willow, Xander, you guys will keep his lackey from getting in the way. Distract him, stake him, I don't care. Just keep him off my back.”

The pair nodded. “Got it,” Willow said.

“Spike. We'll go after Angelus together. I want this done quickly and cleanly. No one else gets hurt.” Spike nodded.

“Great.” Xander clapped his hands together. “Two on one. I like those odds.”

The team gathered up stakes and holy water and headed out. Xander drove them all to the cemetery. Willow looked uncomfortable crammed into the back with Spike. Spike looked out of place in the back seat of Xander's little car.

The cemetery seemed almost darker than usual. Apprehension filled the hearts of Willow and Xander as they stepped onto the over trimmed grass. Buffy felt the chill of dread creep over her, but she shook it off and allowed aggression to replace it. Spike to a moment to steel himself as well. He pushed down any feelings of loyalty toward his sire and nearly laughed when he found there wasn't much to fight against.

Regardless of whether of not any of them were emotionally prepared for this battle, they walked through the gravestones to Angelus's crypt. Spike walked right up to the door with Buffy on his right. Willow and Xander stood behind him. Buffy looked at each of them and upon receiving a nod from each of them, nodded her own head at Spike.

He lifted his leg and kicked the door in. It was thrown open and slammed against the wall with an earsplitting bang. Buffy rushed in as soon it was open. The others followed close behind.

Derek leapt to his feet as they rushed in. He opened his mouth to yell for Angelus, but Buffy had her hands around his throat before he could make a sound. He tried to force air into his throat in an attempt to make any possible noise, but her grip was too strong. She tossed him back behind her and walked on to the ladder. Spike followed her down stairs.

Willow and Xander were left with the younger vampire. Willow was caught off guard by her own uncertainty. He looked young and lost but Willow couldn't forget that he was a bloodthirsty killer. Xander, on the other hand, planted his feet and raised his fists waiting for the vampire to come at them but unable to make the move himself.

The young vampire got to his feet and rubbed his sore neck. He looked at Willow and Xander then behind him at the ladder. Xander had seen to many action movies to lose the obvious opportunity when the vampire turned his head. He rushed at the vampire and threw his fist right into his face.

The vampire stumbled back and pressed a hand to his nose. “Ouch!” He exclaimed.

Xander looked back at Willow who shrugged. Willow looked back at the vampire and noticed something she hadn't before.

“Hey, don't I know you?” She asked him.

“Ugh, no. I don't think so,” the vampire said from behind his hand. He was still looking from Xander to the ladder but he didn't turn his head anymore.

“Yeah, we went to high school with you.”

“Oh that's right,” Xander said. “I remember. Derek Williams. We had chemistry.”

Willow and Derek both looked at him strangely.

“I mean class. We had chemistry class together. We didn't, uh, we weren't... I mean- You're a vampire.”

“Yeah. Kind of explains all the weird stuff that happens around here,” Derek said with a shrug.

“You're telling us,” Willow said.

“So, that's the slayer?”

“Yep, she who kills the evil things,” Xander said nodding.

Derek nodded. “So, you're helping with this 'mission'.” He made finger quotes.

“We're the slayers little helpers,” Willow said.

“And you're supposed to kill me.”

Xander nodded. “It's nothing personal.”

“Right.” 

Derek leapt at Xander and wrapped his arms around Xander's shoulders. Xander tried to push him off but only manged to hold him about him inch away from Xander's neck. Willow hurried over to the lifted her stake high and calculated the location of his heart.

“Any time, Will!” Xander shouted in a panic.

Willow jammed the stake into his back and right into his heart.

“Sorry,” She told Xander while he dusted himself off.

“I'm fine, no worries. I wonder how Buffy's doing.” He gazed toward the ladder.

“Should we go and help? Or do you think she'd rather we stayed here?”

Xander looked nervously toward the ladder. “I don't like her down there alone with two murderous bloodsuckers.”

“What if we get in the way?”

“Well, we'll stay out of the way unless she needs back up.”

“Good plan.”

They walked over to the ladder and stopped. They turned to face each other and Xander held his fist out. They shook their fists. Willow made a rock while Xander made scissors. She made a silent “ha” and motioned for him to go first. He took a deep but quiet breath and descended quickly down the ladder.

***

Buffy skipped the last several rungs of the ladder and dropped down to the dirt floor. Spike nearly skipped the ladder altogether trying to stay close. The room was almost pitch black. Angelus must have killed most of the lights to give himself an advantage. He might have had the advantage of cat-like vision, but Buffy had the advantage of a vampire ally. In the dark of the crypt, she was officially counting on him. Assuming he remained friendly.

She stopped just inside the room. She looked around trying not to be too obvious about the trouble she was having. She could make out a few shapes on her side of the room; the bed, a table, a lump on the floor that was most likely clothes but just as well could have been a body.

She gave up on trying to see and closed her eyes. With her vision impaired. her other senses spiked. She could feel the draft coming from the entrance above and behind her. She heard the shuffle of Spike's boots as he stepped up beside her. Her own heart beat was like a was drum in her ears and her breathing a harsh wind.

She waited and listened for movement. Something cold brushed her face and she jumped back. Realizing she hadn't heard any movement, she stilled and focused on the feeling. There was a cold draft coming from the back of the room. The scent it carried was like a public bathroom; mildew and filth.

She wondered if Angelus had run off into the sewers. Spike would have noticed. He had neither moved nor spoken since he came into the room. Maybe he didn't realize how dark it was or that she couldn't see.

No one was getting anywhere just standing around. Spike needed to know she was impaired and Angelus needed to be slain. Someone needed to move in one direction or the other.

“Spike, can you see?” she dared to ask.

He was about to speak when something came at her. It was big and fast and Buffy heard the whoosh of air just before it connected with her and knocked her to the ground. Angelus was on top of her. He'd taken advantage of her confirmed disability.

Buffy reclaimed her breath and shoved him off of her. She heard scuffling, but she couldn't see who was doing what or if she could help. She tried to stay out of the way waiting for one of them make some sort of noise so she could tell who's who.

After a few minutes of the noise caused by stomping boots and fists connecting with flesh, Buffy got tired of standing and waiting. She opened her eyes, but with the way the too were moving, she couldn't be certain who was who.

“Spike? Maybe help me out sound wise. I'm kind of at a loss.”

Someone hit the wall to her left and by the grunt that resounded, it was Spike. Who Buffy was pretty sure was pinned there by Angelus. She marched blind toward the pair and grabbed the one who she thought (who also felt) like Angelus and tore him away from who she thought was Spike. He landed on the bed as announced by the creaking springs.

There were more creaking springs as the second leapt on top of the first. Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed.

Angelus had had enough of all the silence. He was always a talkative fighter and he had many things he wanted to say. Starting with “What are you doing, Spike?”

“What does it look like I'm doing?” Whap! “I'm kickin' your ass!” Spike responded amid the creaking of springs.

“After everything I did for you?” Whap! Thump! “I saved you! I made you whole again. And you're here with the slayer.”

Someone flew across the room and crashed into a table. Buffy thought it sounded like Spike and she braced herself in case Angelus turned to her. He seemed to have forgotten her as he went after Spike again. 

“You were the reason I needed saving in the first place! You got the librarian all worked up not me.” Crack! Buffy cringed at the sound of someone's head meeting concrete.

“And the chip? If it wasn't for me you'd still be a poor neutered puppy.” Slam! Crack.

Angelus was thrown back into the bed. Buffy was pretty sure that was Angelus. 

“You always were an ungrateful childe.” There was another loud slam and then everything went still. Buffy couldn't tell where they were anymore.

She wished she hadn't dropped her stake when Angelus tackled her. She couldn't see it on the floor and opening her eye only seemed to make it harder to tell what was happening. The noise kicked back up when Spike groaned. It was followed by a grunt from Angelus and several punches. The noises died down and all Buffy heard was shuffling. Then, crack! The air was filled with painic.

Someone dropped down the ladder behind her and she waited anxiously to find whether they would it would be her friends to win the battle or her enemy to destroy her. 

A second person hit the ground and walked slowly closer with the first. They shuffled slowly and Buffy grew hopeful knowing that they couldn't see.

“Fiat Lux!” Willow shouted shattering a vial retrieved from her pocket and illuminating the room.

Spike was on his back on the bed with Angelus hovering over him. Angelus held him by the throat and with his other hand grasped a broken piece of the wooden bed frame. Spike held his wrist and was trying to hold the stake away from his chest.

Buffy spotted her stake on the ground and snatched it up. She ignored the feeling in her gut as she ran to the bed. Time slowed. She raised her stake and brought it down, down, down. There were so many feelings raging inside her. Feelings that said “don't and Angel” mixed with feelings that said “Angelus and evil”.

Whether it was slayer instinct or human, that stake continued on its path. It tore through the fabric of Angelus's red silk shirt and through the flesh of his back. Buffy swore she could see it pass through each layer of skin until it reach that dead, blackened heart.

The dust exploded in normal Earth speed and it was over. Buffy felt like a part of her was over, too.


	11. Burning

The room was silent. The battle was won, but the war raged on within their heads. 

Buffy sat on the couch in her mother's living room. She stared straight ahead seeing nothing that was there, but a few things that weren't. She saw that Christmas Eve when the snow saved Angel from the sun. She saw Angel's face when he said 'I love you' and the way he said her name. Buffy closed her eyes to wipe the image away. All that she saw was the back of her eyelids, but she could feel him still. The way it felt when he kissed her in that old ice rink. Freezing air swirling around them giving way to the blazing heat between them. She felt his teeth in neck when she saved him from Faith's poison. The sudden pain was nothing to the pain she felt when she thought he couldn't be saved.

She was completely unaware of her mother sitting next to her, nursing a cup of tea. She didn't notice Giles who sat beside her, his tea long since forgotten on the coffee table. He too was having trouble seeing the world as it was. He instead saw Jenny. They way she teased him, the way she cared, the way she loved. She was avenged now. He could no longer feel the part of him that was Ripper clawing at the surface.

Willow and Xander were also invisible as they stood by the door. Willow wondered if Buffy would ever really recover from this. She wondered how long it would take to any better herself. 

Xander thought of every time he'd been rude to Angel in his jealousy. He thought of how hurt he'd been when Cordelia dumped him on Valentine's Day and attempted to multiply it. He decided Buffy was likely feeling 10 times that bad.

Spike had disappeared as soon as they left the crypt. He now stood beside the bed and considered each speck of dust as though wondering what part of Angelus it had been. He had trouble sorting the feelings of loss from the feelings of relief.

Eventually, Xander and Willow left the Summer's residence. Xander offered to drive Willow home and Joyce wished them goodnight.

Joyce decided she would be more useful in the morning when she could make her daughter chocolate chip pancakes. She kissed Buffy on the forehead and receiving no response, told the frozen two that she was going to bed.

Giles finally broke the silence by saying, “I'm sorry.”

Buffy seemed to wake slowly from her trance. “No you're not.”

“No. I'm not. For the death of Angelus. I am, however, sorry for the pain you must be feeling. I know what Angel meant to you.”

“No you don't. You think you know all about love, because you had Jenny. Because you're older and you've experienced things, but you don't know anything. If I had been in your situation... If it had been Angel who was killed by some monster... I would have stopped at nothing to see that bastard pay, but I would never have done what you did. That's not love, Giles.

Love is thinking only of that person while you push a stake through the heart of the monster that destroyed them. You were thinking of Jenny when you lied to me or when you tortured Spike. You were thinking of yourself and your own pain.”

Giles was speechless, but he could feel his eyes start to tear up. He cleaned his glasses as Buffy stood.

“Lock the door on your way out,” she said as she went upstairs.

***

Joyce called her work to inform them of a death in the family. She said she wouldn't be in for a few days while she mourned. What she meant is that she'd be busy convincing her daughter to eat something and get a bit of sunshine before she made herself sick.

She put on a pot of coffee for herself and made Buffy a cup of cocoa. She covered it whipped cream and took it upstairs hoping Buffy would wake for the promise of chocolate.

Even sleeping, Joyce could see the distress on her face. She looked like she was having a nightmare. Joyce sighed, she remembered what it was like when someone she was close to died. She'd had so many nightmares about their deaths. Mostly she'd dreamt about trying to save them and she failed every time. Being the slayer it had to be so much worse. She was born to save people and she couldn't save the person who meant the most to her.

Joyce set the warm mug on the bedside table and laid a gentle hand on Buffy's shoulder. “Buffy? Sweetheart, I made you cocoa.” She stroked her daughter's hair and saw her slowly waking. “If you get up, I'll make pancakes.”

“Blueberry or chocolate chip?” Buffy murmured, half awake.

Joyce smiled. “Whatever you like. I could even do both.”

“Both is good.”

“Not a problem. Drink your cocoa. I'll bring you breakfast.”

“Bacon, too?” Buffy said as she slowly sat up.

“Sure.”

Buffy wasn't feeling any less broken the morning after, but she was feeling more in control. A calm sort of numbness had settled over her. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and stretched. She spotted her promised cup of cocoa sitting on the table beside her.

She stuck a finger in the whipped cream and licked it off. It was just sweet enough to make almost anything better so she ate most of it off her fingers and let the rest of it melt into her drink. She sipped her cocoa but it wasn't enough to warm her. It was as if her heart had turned to ice and was now radiating cold.

She could smell melting chocolate coming from down stairs and decided it couldn't hurt to eat in the kitchen. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she could hear voices in the kitchen. At first she thought her mother must be on the phone, but then she heard a male voice respond.

She walked into the kitchen where she found Spike sitting at the counter island sipping his own cup of hot chocolate. Buffy was completely unready to deal with him, but refused to leave her mother sitting alone with him.

“Morning,” the vampire said allowing a certain amount of gentleness into his voice. If he were human, Buffy might have believed that he cared she was in pain.

Buffy shot him a glare, but refused to speak to him. She stood at the end of the counter and simply stared at him. Joyce set a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of the stool next to Spike. Buffy rolled her eyes and sat down being careful not brush against Spike in the smallest way.

She picked up her fork and poked at a fat blueberry until it gushed dark purple fluid all over her pancake.

“How are you feeling?” Spike offered.

“What are you doing here?” Buffy snapped.

“I was coming to see if you were alright.”

“Why do you care?”

“Buffy,” Joyce scolded.

“I'm not hungry.” Buffy jumped down from her stool and stormed upstairs. A moment later Spike was on her tail. He grabbed her arm and spun her around.

“What could you possibly want?” Buffy could feel the numbness deteriorating. Her voice was threatening to break on ever syllable as pain filled her chest and constricted her throat.

“I was truly just checking in on you. Honestly. I know how it feels loosing someone who means so much to you.”

His eyes were sincere, but Buffy would never allow herself to completely trust him. She felt certain he out to gain something here and if he was looking for her trust or approval he wouldn't get it.

“How can you feel anything? You don't have a soul, Spike. You're just another demon.” She tried to pull away and escape into her room, but he tugged her back.

“You listen well, Goldilocks. I have felt love and pain like you wouldn't believe. Don't tell me I can't feel when you wouldn't know anything about it. You're the biggest hypocrite on the planet. Falling in love with a vampire and then acting like he's somehow higher than the rest of us. A soul only gets you so far. He was never so different from Angelus. He may not have killed people, but he was just as twisted. Don't think for a second you know better than me what it is to be heartbroken.” 

He released her arm with a rough shove and disappeared downstairs. Buffy heard the front door slam as she stared after him in shock. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

Joyce came running upstairs and stopped when she saw her daughter. “Buffy?” she called.

Buffy couldn't respond. Her throat was so tight she couldn't breathe and she found herself gasping. Joyce wrapped an arm around her and lead her back to her bed. Joyce held her in her arm as they lay together. Buffy felt like she was dying. Like she would never be able to breathe again. Joyce coaxed her to take deep breaths and eventually Buffy drifted to sleep.

***  
Buffy didn't know where she was, but it was dark. There was a light ahead of her that seemed to be coming from some sort of fire. It was either very small or very far away. She couldn't be sure, but she started walking toward it. The closer she got, the more she could see. She could see faint outline all around her, but she couldn't see what they were.

The shapes seemed to be of uniform size and shape with a few here and there that broke the pattern. Several yards away was a tall sort of wall. There were breaks in the wall near the top where she could see the sky and she realized she was outside.

Her heart started to race as she got closer to the light. It was getting hotter as thought the source of light was caused by an active volcano.

She wasn't sure why she felt so afraid, but suddenly she was running. Toward the light, toward the heat. She thought her hair would burn right off. She never felt anything so hot.

The light seemed to engulf her as she got close enough to see it was a great bonfire. It was the size of a house in both height and length. It was almost as bright as the sun and she thought she'd go blind looking at it, but she couldn't help it. 

Right in the core of the fire, in the exact center, was Angel. He was screaming and writhing, but he wasn't dying. He didn't even appear to be burning. He was just trapped in the flames. Buffy dove into the blaze after him, but it moved back. Every time she tried to reach him, it moved farther and father away until she was back where she started.

She woke up screaming his name.

***

Spike comes back that night and again the next. Buffy doesn't sleep anymore. The nightmares are too bad. So, Buffy's curled up on the couch when he walks in like he owns the place. She knows the sound of his boots and doesn't bother to turn around.

“Ever hear of knocking?” she asks him.

He strolls casually into the den. He was a vampire walking into a slayer's home without the slightest fear. He'd be proud of that if it made her look worse than it did him.

“Must be one of those useless things they teach you public school children.”

Buffy almost smiled. She didn't bother asking what he wanted. He'd just lie and make up some lame story he probably prepared on the way over. She didn't know why he kept checking in on her, but she was glad not to be alone. Her friends and her mother, they didn't let her sit in silence or when they did, they made it feel awkward. 

Spike didn't care if they talked. So he let her take the lead there. If she wanted to talk she would. If not, they would sit together until the sun threatened to touch the horizon.

So, they sat next to each other. Each was wrapped in their own thoughts. They took comfort in the presence of another being nearby, even if it was just that. Buffy let grief take over her mind while Spike like Buffy take over his.

She fought only when her mind conjured up images of Angel suffering in hell over what Angelus did. All because she put him there. Thinking of Angelus reminded her of something he'd said.

And the chip? If it wasn't for me you'd still be a poor neutered puppy. His voice resounded through her head.

“The chip?” she said aloud.

“Hmm?” Spike found it difficult to be pulled back to Earth after sitting there for what felt like hours.

“Angelus said he fixed you. He made you whole,” her voice was quiet but steady.

Spike gestured as thought to wave it away. “That's just sire talk. Thinks he's so much higher than me. Well who's higher now?” he smirked.

“Don't lie to me. There was something going on between you two. You were hiding something from me.”

“I didn't want you to know I was spending time with Angelus. That's all. I went to see him a few times.” She could feel he was suddenly uncomfortable.

“No. There's something else. He took the chip out didn't he? He found someone to do it.” Her voice didn't change.

There was silence for a moment. Then, “Yeah. He had it removed,” his reply had an edge to it. Like he wanted to say more but held it back.

“So there's nothing stopping you from killing people.” Buffy felt a part of her react to that. Most of her was still pretty numb, damaged, but there was something that was instantly poised to fight.

“There's you,” he assured her.

Buffy knew that wasn't true. She'd always been afraid to fight Spike. It hadn't left her since the first time she saw him. She'd seen him fight now and he was so fast, he had a style that fit into her own. She'd picked up a few things she could use against him, but she didn't feel confident. He could keep her going until he wore here down. From there it only take a moments indecision, a wrong move, a misplaced kick. The only reason he never killed her was her friends and her mother. There was no way he didn't know that.

“So I'm supposed to babysit you? Keep you from hurting anyone.”

“No. I'm used to living on animal blood. I don't have to stop that.”

“What you get some wacky vampire craving?” She felt like she should be fighting this more, but she didn't have the will. Maybe she could tell him to leave. If he just left Sunnydale, she wouldn't have to worry about it.

“I can get bagged blood. From the hospital. They're always throwing out fresh stuff. They don't keep it long. I could even snag it before they take it in. No one would notice a bag or two gone missing.”

“No. No human blood. That could be someone's life you're risking.” She will her voice to regain it's strength. “If you so much as threaten a single life, Spike, I swear I will put a stake in you.”

“Fair enough.” Good. Maybe she could intimidate him into to being harmless. So long as he never knows...

They sat in silence again. Eventually, Spike got up an left without a word. Buffy realized he'd stayed the whole night. Even after that, he wanted to stay with her.


	12. So There We Were...

“So there we were,” Xander began excitedly as he sat with Anya. “It's just me and Willow. Buffy and Spike have already run off after Angelus. Willow takes one look at that vampire's deadly fangs and nearly faints. God, she's so afraid-”

“This doesn't sound very realistic,” Anya comments.

“Well it is alright.” Anya puts up her hands in a surrender.

“So, I grab my stake and I lunge forward only I hadn't accounted for my own strength and we both go down! I'm right on top of him and he's trying to throw me off. He just barely manages it-”

“Oh, I'm sure.”

“Would you be quiet. I'm trying to tell a story. So, I leap up onto my feet and we're staring each other down. He lunges at me! But I'm too quick. I side step and stick my leg out to trip him and he goes down. Then, I'm on top of him and rolling around fighting for control and Willow's yelling “Xander! Xander be careful!” and of course I don't want her to worry.” 

Anya's eye rolled could be sensed by Xander's parents upstairs. If they'd had any sort of intuition that is.

“I realize I can't keep this going any longer. Buffy's gotta need my help by now.”

“Doesn't she have Spike with her? Why would she need you?”

“Anya! Can you not?”

“Sorry,” she said insincerely.

“So, I raise my stake. He makes a grab at it, but there's no stopping me. I bring it down and poof! He's nothing but dust!”

“Great. Can we watch the movie now?”

“You don't want to hear about how I took out Angelus while Buffy was unconscious?” 

“No one wants to hear that, Harris.” She picks up the remote and hits play. Xander doesn't shut up until the opening credits end and Anya has jabbed him in the ribs with the remote.

***

“So there we were,” Willow began excitedly as she sat with Tara. “Buffy and Spike have gone after Angelus and it's just me and Xander alone with this vamp.”

“Ooh,” Tara says. “I bet that was scary.”

“Oh, it was.” Willow nods. “But and Xander have killed vampire's before. Never without Buffy, but I knew we could do it. So Xander punches him! But then I realize, I recognize this guy. 'Cause you know, he didn't go all bumpy face.”

“They really do that? Th- the weird demony face,” Tara says nervously.

“Oh, yeah and it is ugly.”

“So wh- what did you do?”

“Well we talked. For a minute. About how we knew each other. Xander knew him a little bit too, but of course, that's not going to stop a vampire. We stop talking and he goes right for Xander's throat!”

Tara is wrapped up in the excitement of Willow's story.

“Xander holds him back just before he sink him fangs in. I run up behind him and force my stake right through his back and into his heart! Which is a lot harder than Buffy makes it look.”

“Wow. What about that Angelus guy?” Tara fiddled with a stalk of lavender.

“Well, me and Xander went after Buffy. To make she was okay. So, we climbed down this old dusty ladder. And downstairs the room was pitch black, but we could hear fighting as we came down. So we knew something was happening. Luckily I mixed up one of those vials like you showed me. I broke it and yelled the incantation and I lit up the whole room!” Willow smiled proudly.

“Wow, really?”

“Well, I couldn't have done it if you hadn't taught me.”

“I taught you tiny tinker bell light, but you really light up the whole room?” Tara was obviously impressed.

Willow shrugged. “I just made a few little improvements.”

“What happened then?”

“I could see Buffy standing a few feet in front of us. Angelus had Spike, he's kind of our ally now I guess, pinned down on this really ornate bed. He was about to stake Spike-”

“Wait. Spike's a vampire too?”

“Yeah, only he can' t bite people. He's got this chip thing. It hurts him when he tries. Like a shock collar.”

“That sounds awful. Well good, 'cause he can't hurt you but...”

“I know what you mean,” Willow said. “Once Buffy could see what was happening, she grabbed her stake and put it right through Angelus's heart!”

“Wow,” Tara said in awe.

“I know,” Willow agreed.

They were quiet for a while. “I kind of stinks though,” Willow said.

“Vampires?” Tara asked.

“No. Well sometimes. I mean. Angelus, he sort of had a soul once. Only then we called him Angel. He was really good and he helped people. He's saved all our lives. He was Buffy's boyfriend, too.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's kinda hard knowing he's gone now. It's gotta be worse for Buffy though, knowing she was the one who killed him.”

“I can't even imagine that.” Tara shook her head.

“Some times I'm really glad I'm not the chosen one.”

***

“So there we were,” Buffy began slowly as she sat with Giles. He'd only heard the punch line so far. No one had the heart to talk about it before. “I left Willow and Xander and headed downstairs. He was expecting me. He...” Buffy it hard to speak as she thought about Angel. “He'd killed all the lights. I couldn't see anything.”

“How did you resolve that?” Giles was in Watcher mode. He knew that anything less would be too emotional and he didn't want to do that Buffy. She'd been having enough trouble with her own emotions as it was.

“I didn't. Not exactly. I closed my eyes and let my ears do all the work. Spike did most of the fighting.”

“And he didn't betray you?”

“I don't think it even crossed his mind.”

“Of course it did. You were vulnerable. At any point he could have simply stepped aside and let Angelus have you or even killed you himself.”

“What should I have done then? Turned and ran? I trust Spike. Not completely, I'm not an idiot. He does for himself before anyone else. But that's what I trusted. I knew he wanted Angelus dusted more than he wants me dead.”

“I didn't mean to upset you,” Giles said, cleaning his glasses.

Buffy let it go, eager to move on. “In the end it was Willow who saved the day.”

“Willow?”

“Yeah, she had this magic light. It lit up the whole room. I was able to st- to take care of him before he easily after that.”

“That's impressive.”

“I'm just glad she showed up when she did.”

Giles nodded. “Indeed. She was certainly a necessity.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at his coldhearted Watcher act. She finished off her tea in silence.

“How long until your brace comes off?”

“Another week or so. To be safe, the doctor said.”

Buffy nodded. “Make sure you wear it.” She stood and left without another word.


	13. Push and Pull

The day after her meeting with Giles, Buffy had recovered enough to get back to patrolling. Things were still pretty calm in the cemeteries. Either news of Angelus's death hadn't circulated, or the demons were all more afraid of Buffy than they'd ever been. Buffy sincerely hoped for the latter.

The ground was muddy from heavy rain and her shoe sunk into the soft dirt. There were boot prints in the dirt in front of her. They seemed to come from the gate to her right and continue past to her left. She decided to follow them. The prints went a short way before curving to the right. They went around a mausoleum and Buffy got the distinct impression that the prints were a lot fresher than she'd thought. The person making them must have noticed her following them and hid on the other side of the crypt. Most likely to ambush her.

Instead of following the tracks around the front, where she was certain she could be jumped, she climbed up to the top of the structure and walked across it. Looking down on the other side, Buffy could see a a rather messy patch of blond hair. She rolled her eyes as the cigarette smoke reached her.

“I'd ask if you were following me, but I think that would be redundant,” she said.

Spike didn't bother to look up. Buffy found that somewhat insulting. “Come on down, Rapunzel.” 

“Are you playing the knight in shining armor?”

“If that's what you need.”

“Since when do you care what I need?”

Spike tossed his cigarette and turned to look at her. The moonlight created a halo around her small form, crouching on the roof of the crypt. Spike thought if people knew how easily she sacrificed everything for their lives, this is how they would see her; glowing like an angel.

“Since I have nothing better to do.”

“What happened to your face?” The bruises looked like someone had tried to kick his head in, in the most literal way possible.

“It would seem I'm no longer welcome in the vampire community.”

“Well for the record, you're not welcome in the Buffy community either.”

“Is that right? If it wasn't for me, Angelus would have torn you apart! You would have been lost, groping around in the darkness. And he would have taken his time,” Spike said darkly.

“You don't have a chip anymore, Spike. There's nothing stopping you from killing-”

“That didn't bother you when I was sitting in your mum's kitchen. Or when we sat together until the sun came up.”

“I was a mess. I wasn't thinking clearly.”

Spike looked amused. “Oh please. You may not have been all kittens and rainbows, but I saw you. You needed me then, and you'll need me again.”

“No one needs you, Spike,” Buffy said sincerely.

“Don't push me away now, slayer,” he warned. “I won't be there when you need me again.”

“I told you. I don't need you. Not ever.” She jumped down the backside of the crypt and walked quickly into the woods hoping he didn't chase her. She got the feeling that if he tried much harder to convince her, he would win.

To his credit, he left her alone. So, she was free to walk alone through the woods. She'd made it past the end of the cemetery and almost to where the houses began, when she noticed something on the ground. It looked like maybe a dead animal, but being the slayer means investigating every dead thing that comes along.

As she got closer, she felt sick. The small form on the ground was a child. A dead child. A small dead child that had been stabbed through his middle and his body torn apart left to lay in his own blood. There was an action figure laying in the red puddle. She felt a bit dizzy and realized she was gasping. Spike was there to catch her as she fainted.

***  
She woke up in her own bed. Her thoughts were unclear and she wasn't certain whether or not she'd dreamed the whole thing. She was wearing her clothes like she remembered, but maybe she'd just laid down and decided she wasn't ready to face the world after all.

Joyce was reading a book on the couch when Buffy came downstairs. She smiled to see her daughter on the steps.

“Good, you're up.”

“Uh, yeah. I am,” Buffy said still a bit disoriented.

“You don't remember do you?”

Buffy shook her head. “I thought it was a dream.”

“Well, Spike didn't-”

“Spike?”

“Who do you think carried you all the way home?”

Buffy looked confused. “He carried me?”

Joyce nodded. “He said he came all the way from the woods behind the cemetery. I told him he should have just called me. That's quite a long walk, but he assured me it wasn't a problem. He's strangely polite for a vampire don't you think?”

Buffy was only half present. “Polite... yeah. I have to...”  
“Buffy?”

Buffy left the house still lost in her thoughts. She was halfway to the cemetery when situation finally lost it's misty quality and became completely real. She could see the police tape baring off part of the forest. There were three police cars parked around the edge of the cemetery as well as an ambulance. Someone slammed the doors to the ambulance shut and it drove off leaving the police to investigate.

Buffy got as close as the tape before an officer stopped her. They told her the area was closed and insisted she move on, but not before she got a good look at the soldiers talking to the sheriff. 

***  
Spike wasn't sure what he'd been thinking. Why didn't he just leave her laying in the woods? Why did he do half the things he did for her? He couldn't convince himself it was all for Joyce's home made hot chocolate though he certainly tried.

He was standing behind the Summer's house when Buffy ran off. He didn't see her, but he heard the door slam. She'd only been out an hour. He was just glad she hadn't hit her head. But why?

He had the chip out. He could kill her. It would be easy. Maybe that's why he didn't. It wouldn't been too easy. The slayer was an absolute mess and could hardly get out of bed. She was fainting at the sight of blood. She'd be dead the instant he decided he wanted her blood. Yeah, that was the reason.

Spike tossed his cigarette and reached for the next before realizing he was out. He'd blown through the whole pack standing there.

His stomach growled and he felt little spikes of pain there. The thought of animal blood made him queasy. He'd tasted human blood too recently. Was he really going to give that up? The slayer didn't have to know. A body turns up and it could have been put there by any local vampire. He sighed knowing he wouldn't do it. At some point he'd decided to put that behind him. Looks like he was stuck mixing stolen blood bank blood with pig's blood until the craving stopped. Not that it ever would stop, but hopefully it would lessen with time.

It wasn't hard to catch the van at the hospital before it unloaded. Unsurprisingly, he wasn't the only vampire who had thought to steal donated blood. There was a pair on the opposite side of the parking lot, kneeling behind the bushes waiting for the driver to get out and unlock the back.

Spike rolled his eyes. They would no doubt defeat the purpose of bagged blood by killing the driver to get to it. There would still be a body which would still draw unwanted attention. Namely that of the slayer.

Spike snuck around behind them and cracked their heads together. They yelled and glared up at him with yellow eyes.

“Make yourselves scarce,” Spike commanded.

One immediately crawled out of arms reach. The other sat glaring up at him as though coming to the conclusion that he could win this fight. His friend grabbed him by the arm and shook his head. As they ran off together Spike heard one whisper, “That's Spike!”

The second replied, “You mean the slayer's pet?”

Spike growled, “So that's what they're saying about me.”

He looked up and realized he'd almost missed his chance. The driver was pushing a cart up to the door and taking it inside. Spike swooped over to the truck and snagged a small cooler that wouldn't be missed.

***  
“It was horrible, Giles. He was just little kid!”

“You said he was... skewered?”

“He was just sitting there playing with his action figure and something came up and shish kabobed him.”

“I'll have to go through my books, but that sounds vaguely familiar.”

Buffy sat down on the couch while Giles collected several books that looked promising. She turned on the TV and watched the report of the dead boy. The segment ended and went to the next. A woman was reported dead, but they weren't releasing any information about her death. They showed the woman's picture. Buffy gasped as she recognized the face of Maggie Walsh.

“Oh my God.”

“What is it?” Giles asked looking up from his book.

“That's Professor Walsh!”

“Didn't Riley say she had something to do with the Initiative?”

“Yeah, he did,” she said quietly still watching the screen. They didn't say anything more about Walsh and instead turned to the traffic report.

“Perhaps they know something about this creature.”

“I doubt they'd be willing to tell me about it.”

“I wasn't thinking you should ask nicely.”

“So I should what? Break in to a secret government agency?”

“If it comes to that.” Giles turned back to his book.


	14. Slumber Party

“It appears to be a polgara demon,” Giles said after several hours of silence. 

Willow had arrived immediately after school to lend a hand. “polgara?” she asked.

“How do we kill it?” Buffy asked.

“It appears really anything will do. Stabbing, beheading. But, I'm not sure if this is a polgara.”

“Back to books then?” Willow asked.

“Well, the wound is exactly like the mark left by a polgara, but they're insentient. They rampage and kill everything in sight. There's no way a polgara could be hiding so well. There's only been two attacks in two days and there haven't been any sightings.”

“Maybe someone is controlling it,” Buffy offered.

“It's possible,” Giles agreed.

“Just another reason to look into the Initiative.”

“I agree.”

The front door swung open and Xander walked in. “Heard there was trouble. What do you need?”

“I'm glad you're here,” Buffy said. “I need your help.”

“Me?” Xander asked surprised. “I mean, yeah, sure. I'm your guy.” He smiled.

“I need your military expertise. We've got to get inside the Initiative.”

“How are gonna do that?” Willow asked. “Won't they have some pretty high tech security?”

“I'm hoping Spike can get us to an entrance,” Buffy said. She turned to Xander. “Any idea what kind of security we might have to break through?”

“Well there's basic stuff. Key codes, print scans, voice recognition,” Xander told her.

“Nothing we could get through,” Buffy said disappointed.

Xander nodded. “That's just the basic stuff. I might be able to disable and key pads with the right tools, but and scans will sound the alarm.”

“Any chance we could disable their security? Ya know, just shut it all down.” Willow asked.

“Shutting it down might lock down the whole building. Then there'd be no way inside and they would be expecting a break in,” Xander said.

Buffy thought a moment and then exclaimed, “Oh! Willow you could do a spell. We could find some Initiative guys and you could make us look like them. That would get us through any scans right?”

Xander nodded. “I think so.”

“Do I look like Hermione to you?” Willow asked.

“Come on, Will. I heard you're getting good,” Xander told her.

“Heard from who?” she asked skeptical.

“From,uh- From Giles!” 

Giles looked like he was about to protest when he caught Buffy's look. “Yes, I did say that. You're doing quite well, Willow.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Really!” Buffy said. “If anyone can get us in there, it'll be you.”

“Okay, but I'll have to find the right spell. It might take some time.”

“That's okay. We need to find an entrance. Scope the place out. See if we can find some one to grab,” Buffy said.

“Does this mean we have to go talk to Spike?” Xander asked distastefully.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I'll go. You can wait here.”

“Good,” Xander said looking as if this were genuinely good news for him.

Buffy left the house to find Spike.

“I think I know where to find the spell we need. I'll call when I have it,” Willow said before leaving as well.

“Well, just you and me G-man,” Xander said.

Giles rolled his eyes. “Wonderful. I'm going to go through a few books to see if I can't help as well. Perhaps you'd like to lend a hand.”

“I'm about to walk into a top secret government facility to steal information on a bloody thirsty monster. I think I'll spend the last few hours of life watching television and eating all your snacks.” Xander went into the kitchen to find himself something munchy.

“Glad we're all taking this so seriously,” Giles mumbled picking a few books off a shelf.

***

Buffy found her way to Angelus's old crypt. Someone had taken the time to repair the door. It was hurriedly done, but not without care. She doubted it was the family of whoever's body belonged there. She stepped inside and was greeted by the smell of cigarettes and alcohol.

“Spike?” she called, looking around the room. He'd gotten himself some furniture and a TV. There was a refrigerator at the back and the sarcophagus had been moved out of the way. It was currently holding what looked like an entire liquor store as well as Spike's infamous blazer.

“Just couldn't stay away could you?” said Spike from where he leaned against a pillar just out of sight. “Couldn't leave me in peace.”

“I need your help.”

“You always want something from me don't you? I- I thought I told you not to come asking me for help. You said you didn't need me. Well here you are. Needin' my help.”

“Are you drunk?”

Spike snorted. “What's it matter? What does any of it matter? Didn't matter how I helped you. How I saved your life! None of that matters. No! Why should it? Why should it matter when I help you? When I do something good. Just doin' what I'm told right? Slayer's pet.”

“You're not anyone's pet, Spike.”

“No? So you're not keeping me on a leash?” He stepped out of the shadows to face her. Rage shown in his eyes but was diluted by a considerable amount of alcohol. “So I'm free to do as I please? Allowed to say I'm done helping you and your scoobies? Seems more like you'd cut my head off before you let me off the bloody leash!” He tossed the empty liquor bottle from his hand and it shattered against the cement wall. Buffy stepped back.

“I don't mean anything to you! I'm just a thing right? Just a vampire. So that's the deal. I behave or you do me in! That's all I get after everything I did.”

“Is this about Angelus?” Buffy asked. “You made it quiet clear how you felt about him.”

“Did I? Did I tell you how he tore down that wall, made that tunnel to the sewers with his bare hands, so I wouldn't die when your watcher tore me to pieces? Or how he kept all the locals from tearing out my throat when they found out I was helping you?” He stared ahead, his eyes unfocused. “No. I turned on him. Keep tellin' myself I did it to get ahead... Because I didn't want live under his shadow for the rest of eternity.”

He walked to back of the room and grabbed another bottle. He swallowed down half of it before he started talking.

“Once that was true,” he shook his head. “Not any more. I know why I did it.” He stared at the floor. Buffy thought he looked guilty, but she pushed away the idea reminding herself it wasn't possible.

“Why?”

“Why do you care?” Spike snapped back. 

“Because the sooner you work through whatever the hell this is, the sooner I can get back to my job,” she said firmly, holding back her irritation to the best of her ability.

“Right, because everything is about you. I have problems of my own you know!” 

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Drusilla! She tried to warn me,” he gave a humorless laugh. “She knew. Always so smart, that girl. Completely daft, but smart... When you can figure out what the hell she's saying anyway.” He sat down on the end of the coffin.

He held up two shot glasses in offer and Buffy nodded. She stood next to the coffin while he poured them each a drink.

Buffy still had no idea what he was talking about, but he'd stayed beside her when she needed someone. She felt like she owed it to him to do the same.

Spike held up his shot glass, “Cheers.”

Buffy followed suit. “Egh.” She stuck her tongue out at the repulsive flavor. Spike almost laughed. By the time the sun set, there was a single bottle left and neither one of them remained conscious.

***

Willow left Giles's place and went straight to the Sunnydale U campus. She knocked on the familiar door and it swung open to reveal a familiar smiling face.

“Willow!” Tara said happily.

“Hey, Tara,” Willow said smiling. “Not busy are you?”

Tara shook her head a small bush in her cheeks.

“Good,” Willow said stepping inside. “I need your help with something a bit, uh, odd. If I can find the right spell that is. I grabbed a few books I think will help, but you have a few books I haven't even flipped through yet. So between us, I think we can find it.”

She sat down on Tara's bed and pulled her books from her bag. Tara closed the door and sat down beside her.

“So, what's the spell?”

“It's for Buffy. Remember those Initiative guys I told you about?”

“The commandos?”

“Yep.” Willow looked nervously over her shoulder and lowered her voice. “Buffy's gonna try to sneak in and get some information on this demon that's been killing people.”

“The one that got that little boy a-and the teacher?”

“The very same. We think they might be involved. Buffy thinks that maybe they're even controlling it somehow.”

“Wow. That's bad.”

Willow nodded in agreement and started flipping pages in one of her books. “We need a transformation spell. Something that can somebody into someone else.”

“Like someone as in not you or someone else as in a specific person?” Tara asked.

“Some specific. Specific being someone from the Initiative.”

Tara nodded and went to her bookshelf to look through a book of her own. They sat on the bed next to each other, flipping pages. Tara's free hand seemed to gradually slide it's way closer to Willow of its own accord.

After several hours of turning pages, Willow found what she was looking for. “Bingo!” she exclaimed.

“You found it?” Tara asked somewhat disappointed as she felt she'd been getting close. She looked down and noticed her hand practically sitting on Willow's thigh and she pulled it back with a slight blush to her cheeks.

“This one right here does what we need. We just need DNA from the person we're turning them into. Guess this is gonna get a bit Harry Potter.”

“You should call your friends,” Tara suggested.

Willow looked toward the phone but decided against it with a shrug. “It can probably wait until morning.”

“Oh, wow.” Tara looked outside. “How late is it?”

They both checked the clock on Tara's table to find it was just past one in the morning.

“So... sleepover?” Willow asked.

Tara smiled. “Yes,” she replied.


	15. A Case of the Warm Fuzzies

It was dark. She was suffocating in the heat. The smoke burned her throat and lungs as she choked for air. Suddenly the smoke cleared and she could see the fire beyond. It took the shape of a cage. Hands reached between the bars. Reaching for anything to releave the torment. Buffy tried to reach them, but the harder she tried the further it seemed. She heard a scream that tore her heart in two. Then a word. It sounded so quiet in comparison. She listened closely and she heard, “Buffy.”

“Angel?”

The fire exploded and consumed everything.

***

It wasn't until the next evening that Buffy woke. She felt like she'd been kicked in the head by a horse. A very large horse wearing steel horse shoes who was feeling very vengeful toward Buffy. Thankfully, minimal light made it in through the small windows. She rubbed her head and spent a long moment groaning about her predicament.

“Fussing about it doesn't really make the problem go away, love,” Spike told her.

“Yeah? What does?” she grumbled. She looked up and spotted him sitting above her on the coffin. He took a long swig on a bottle of something clear. Buffy nearly gagged and silently declared war on alcohol.

“Not much,” He grinned. “but I hear a roll in the sack helps.”

Buffy rolled her eyes, but a part of her remembered to be glad he was acting more like Spike and less like a soap opera. “Gross, Spike.”

“Don't knock it 'til you try it,” he countered.

“I think I'd like to die first.”

“That can be arranged.”

Buffy was very unsteady as she got to her feet. She swayed a bit, but she didn't see the hand the reached unconsciously to catch her. Her stomach seemed to be debating whether or not it wanted to purge its contents or tough it out.

“Did I get hit by a truck?” she grumbled.

“Nope. But you did help me go through two dozen bottles of various liquors in about four hours.” Buffy groaned. “Good thing you're super human.”

“Not feelin' so super.”

Spike patted the coffin beside him, though there wasn't much room. “Come sleep it off.” Buffy groaned again. “It's comfier than it looks.”

“I'm pretty sure... there's a reason that I'm not... supposed to do that,” she said trying to think around the pounding in her head.

“Sleep with me?”

“Sleep beside you,” she corrected.

“Well you slept just fine last night.”

“I passed out. 'Cause you got me drunk.” Her head was starting to clear up and she thanked slayer healing for the pounding in her head steadily receding. “That is not what I came here for.”

“Why did you come here?” He took another sip from his bottle. Buffy wondered what could possibly possess him to keep drinking after all that last night.

She rubbed her head wishing the headache would stop but it seemed determined to stick around for a while. “I need help finding a way into the initiative.”

“What do you what with that lot? They'd probably run experiments on you too if they found out what you were.”

“We think they have something to do with the little boy I found in the woods.”

“We found. I was there, too. That was just bloody awful.”

“You're a vampire,” Buffy reminded him.

“Killing kids was never my cuppa. That was all Dru.”

“Whatever. Can you show me how to get inside or not?”

“I can show you where I came out. Seemed like something of back door. Not used often, but you could probably get through unseen there.”

“Good. Just show me where and we'll do the rest.”

Spike looked outraged. “You mean I don't get to help tear down the buggers that messed up my head?”

“No. There will be no tearing. We're just trying to find out where this monster is so I can stop it.”

“Fine.” Spike pouted.

“And anyway, you can't go around hitting people. Especially not in front of the gang.”

Spike gave her a surprised look. “You didn't tell them I got de-chipped?” Buffy looked at anything but him. “Why? Shouldn't you be warning them to keep out of fangs reach?”

Buffy was quiet for a moment. “If they find out you can kill again... they'll want to know why I haven't staked you.”

“Why haven't you?” Spike said softly.

“You're still useful,” Buffy said insistently.

Spike nodded, but sensed she wasn't being entirely truthful. “Right. But you don't need me, remember?”

Buffy shook her head. “I don't need you any more than I need e-coli.”

Spike glared. “Well, I'll just stick around poisoning the local water supply and sickening people who don't use enough soap.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “I'll be back when the sun's set.” She turned and left without another word.

“Don't expect any help from e-coli over here!” he called after her.

Buffy didn't really have anywhere to be, but she was hungry after skipping breakfast and, if she was right about the time, lunch. So, she made her way to her mother's house and let herself in through the back. Joyce was out. Given that it was just after three o'clock, she would leaving work soon and heading home.

Buffy made herself a sandwich and sat on the counter munching away. She glancing at the clock and trying very hard not to think about Spike. She could feel strange warm feelings attached to strange warm thoughts ebbing up into her head, but she forced them back down. The last thing she needed was emotional confusing toward the evil undead. Spike was off the romance radar one-hundred percent. Wasn't he?

She grabbed a bottle of water and went back out to the cemetery feeling unable to sit still any longer. Eating had gotten rid of her headache, but it hadn't done anything to stop her brain calling up images of Spike sitting beside her when she felt most alone or of Spike walking her home when she was paranoid   
Angelus might be lurking in the shadows. She told herself he was just trying to stay on her good side to keep his head on his shoulders.

She made it back to the cemetery as the sun touched the horizon. It was still high enough to give Spike a sun burn if he stepped outside so Buffy waited. She leaned against the door to his crypt and watched the sun go down.

On the other side of the door stood Spike. He pressed one hand against the wood, waiting impatiently for the sun to disappear, or as he found himself thinking, piss the hell off. As he did, he felt a sort of warmth on the other side. A warmth that felt of human flesh accompanied by a scent that smelled of Buffy. He felt a gnawing hunger inside that had nothing to do with blood and everything to do with flesh. He indulged it for a minute allowing Buffy to fill his head with warmth. He realized his mistake minutes after it was too late. He let her into his head and now she wouldn't leave. She stay there, warm and golden, making him feel alive. He understood suddenly why Angelus hated her so much. The feeling of her presence was overwhelming and intoxicating. The demon within him raged wanting to tear the flesh from her bones until nothing warm or golden remained of her. But he had always been too in control of his demon for his own good. So he stood with both hands pressed to the door listening to the beat of the heart on the other side.

***

Willow wasn't where she expected to be when she woke up. There was sunlight on her face. Strange, she always closed the curtains snug before she went to bed. There was an arm around her. A person was laying beside her. Tara, she realized. She smiled and slowly opened her eyes. 

Tara was asleep facing her. Her blonde hair fell over part of her face. Her arm was thrown across Willow's waist and a small smile was on her lips.

Willow watched those lips. They were soft and pink. She thought they were a very pretty shape. She might like to create a flower with such delicate curves. She could call it Tara's Kiss and give it to her as a present. Willow knew how she would smile and blush and struggle to get out a thank you. Maybe Willow could kiss her to save her from being embarrassed about her stutter. She wondered when she started to think about Tara like that. She thought maybe Tara thought about her that way too and maybe she never noticed. She was always busy worrying about her friends or magic or school. With Tara things were just about Willow. It was a nice change. Sometimes she wished things were more about Tara, but Tara never really talked about her life. Had she been a bad friend not to ask?

Tara's eyes fluttered open and she smiled at Willow. “Good morning,” Willow told her.

“Morning,” Tara replied sleepily. As she woke, she noticed her arm wrapped around Willow. “Oh,” she said pulling her arm away abruptly. “Sorry.” 

Willow shook her head. “Don't worry about it. It's nice.”

Tara blushed and nodded, unable to add any words to the gesture. They were quiet for a while as they simply laid together.

“Guess I should call Giles,” Willow finally said. Tara nodded understanding. “That spell we found... I'll need your help.”

“You know I'm happy to help.”

“Good, I'm glad.”

“You don't look very glad,” Tara commented.

“Well... it's not that I don't want you to meet my other friends its just... when we're all together everything's about the slaying and Buffy but... but with you it's just us and I- I kind like having something that's just mine... Do you get it at all?” Willow said feeling sort of awkward. 

Tara nodded. “Yeah, I get it.”

Willow smiled. “Good. So, you'll help?”

“I'll help.”

“Good. I'll just uh... call Giles.” Willow grabbed the phone and told Giles about the spell and that she was bringing a friend along to help her out. Giles seemed hesitant to include another party, but Willow assured him it was safe to involve Tara.

Willow packed her things and went to her dorm to change. She met Tara in the front of the school and walked together to Giles's house.

Giles wasn't happy that Buffy hadn't come back last night. Luckily for Willow, he had no idea that she'd even found the spell last night and she was careful not to give away that she'd found it and then decided to snuggle up with Tara instead of reporting straight back. Willow suggested that maybe Buffy hadn't been able to find Spike last night or that maybe he had trouble finding the way back to the Initiative. He wasn't any more pleased by those ideas.

The girls get everything set up and went over the incantation. Giles paced across the foyer like that would bring them answers or better yet, Buffy herself. He called Joyce and found that Buffy had been home at some point before Joyce got back, but had left again. She also told him that Buffy hadn't been in at all last night and only came back after she had left for work. Giles thanked her and asked to call if Buffy arrived. Giles called Buffy's dorm and left a message for Buffy to call him back. Next, he called Xander who insisted he'd seen no blondes aside from Anya (who wasn't sure whether or not blonde was really “her”) in a few days. Starting to worry, he went back to pacing the floor occasionally muttering “where is she” to himself. Willow and Tara exchanged concerned looks.

***

 

The sun finally set and Buffy stepped away from the door with a sigh. Spike counted to ten before stepping outside to meet her. She gestured that he should take the lead and did without a word. Buffy stared confused at his back as he walk with strange quiet through the cemetery and led the way to Sunnydale U.

“So, where is this entrance exactly?” Buffy asked.

“Little way into the woods there.” They went back to silence and Buffy went back to being confused.

Spike led the way through the trees. They didn't go far before Spike led the way into a small cave that from the front looked like a big rock. About two yards from the entrance was a key pad with a lit up red light on the left and green light on the right.

“This is it.”

“Great, any idea how to open it?”

“Nope.”

“Great.”

“Good, you got what you wanted then. So, that's that.” Spike turned away to leave.

Buffy caught his arm. “What is your deal?”

Spike sighed. “Nothing. Just a bit hung over. Like to get back and sleep it off.”

“No you're not! I know what hung over looks like. This is... passive aggressive.”

Spike scoffed. “Pu-lease! Me? Passive aggressive. I don't know the meaning of the phrase.”

“Then what is your problem?”

“It's nothing. Don't worry your pretty head about it.” He tried to walk away again and again Buffy caught his arm.

“Well I don't think it's-”

Spike whipped around and suddenly Buffy was pressed between Spike and wall. He brought his right hand up and Buffy tensed to catch his fist, but he was gentle as he reached up and stroked her cheek, just barely, with his knuckles. His voice was a cross between a growl and a whisper as he said, “I told you not to worry about it.”

He turned and was gone in a flash.


	16. Taking the Initiative

Buffy was still standing, shocked, against the wall when the panel beside the door beeped. She snapped out of it in time to run out of the cave and hide in the bushes. A young woman in a lab coat left the cave staring intently at a clipboard. She followed a narrow path back to the campus.

Buffy made her own way back and walked to Giles's place. She hoped Willow had done her job better than she had and was waiting for Buffy to get back. She hoped they weren't all mad at her for not coming back last night. 

She walked through the front door and greeted by the funny smells that only magic could bring together. Willow was sitting on the couch but jumped up when Buffy came in. Buffy noticed a second person who she thought she'd seen before but wasn't certain.

“Buffy! Where were you?” Willow asked. “Giles has-”

Giles came down the short hallway and into the living room. “Where have you been?”

“I was-” Buffy began.

“Don't lie to me! I've already talked to your mother and to Xander. Willow said she didn't see you all night.”

Willow's eyes grew wide realizing she'd saved her own skin by giving Buffy no way to hide. “That's because,” interrupted Willow as Buffy began to speak. “I was with Tara all night. We were up all night looking for the spell and I just sort of crashed at her place.” Tara nodded. “Buffy could have been tucked up in our dorm all night and I wouldn't have noticed.” She nodded at Buffy. Buffy nodded back with a 'thank you' in her eyes.

“Why didn't you tell me this before?” Giles asked.

Buffy didn't let her answer. “She's right! I was in our dorm last. Spike was a no show so I just headed on to bed. I didn't think Willow would find the spell for a while so I didn't think it mattered.”

Giles sighed. “You should have called.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

“Right well. I assumed you were with Spike just now.”

Buffy's eyes widened. “Why do you assume that? I could have been with anyone really, not just Spike.” She touched the side of her face where his hand had been as if it had left a mark.

“So you didn't find a way into the Initiative?” Giles asked confused by her behavior.

“Oh, uh. Yeah we did. It's in this cave just off campus.”

“The secret government monster hunters set up their super secret base at Sunnydale U?” Willow asked.

“Looks like. I even saw this scientist woman come out of it, but it had this key pad to open the door. We'll need a code or a card to get in.”

“Well for the spell, we'll need DNA from the person you want to change into. A hair or a finger nail or saliva. You could probably get their key card from them.”

Buffy nodded. “Looks like we'll have to stake the place out until someone comes outside. We'll knock 'em out and get you the hairs so you can do the spell.”

“You'll want to grab costumes too and their badge. The spell won't do that for you,” Willow said.

“I'll go and call Xander. The two of you can get the last of what's necessary,” Giles said and walked past Buffy to the phone.

“Oh, Buffy,” Willow said after a nudge from Tara. “This is Tara. Tara this is Buffy.”

“Hi,” Tara said with a shy smiled.

“Hi.” Buffy smiled back. “So, you do magic.”

Tara nodded. “Me and W-willow have been p-practicing together.”

“She's really good,” Willow said. “She taught me all these spells I'd never even thought of before.”

Tara blushed. “I'm not that good. I mean... not as good as you.”

Giles set the phone down and spoke to Buffy. “Xander says he'll meet you at the university.”

“Thanks. I'll try to make this quick.”  
***  
By the time anyone comes out of the Initiative, Buffy's legs are cramped. She sick and tired of kneeling behind the same stupid bush and it's almost worth it to just walk up and bang on the door. Xander has been keeping a running whispered monologue that doesn't really make a lot of sense to Buffy.

“One man is all that stands between-” he says from behind his binoculars.

“Xander, shut up,” Buffy says feeling both mentally and physically exhausted. 

“Sorry. Do you think they've closed up shop? I mean it is getting pretty late.”

“I don't know. Would be nice if we had some intel.” Buffy thought sadly of Riley and how he could have helped in this situation.

“Someone's coming!” Xander hissed ducking down behind the bush as two Initiative workers (a scientist and a man decked out in camo) came out of the cave talking urgently.

Buffy waited until they were right in front of the bush before springing out with a very well executed front flip (thank you very much) and landed right in front of them. She kicked the commando in the side of the head and he fell unconscious. The scientist hadn't yet processed the situation giving Buffy an opportunity to knock her out with her own clipboard.

Xander came out from behind the bush and helped her drag the unconscious bodies to their hiding place. They took their badges, key cards, and the pristine white lab coat. Buffy plucked a few hairs from each of their heads and stuck them into the prepared zip-lock bags. They hurried back Giles's house to get the job done before the pair woke up and alerted the entire facility.

Back at command central, Buffy offered up the hairs to Tara who finished setting everything up. She sat on the carpet next to Willow in front of an old magic book.

“You guys ready?” Willow asked torn between excitement and nervousness. 

“As we'll ever be,” Buffy said.

“Are you sure this is gonna work?” Xander nervously eyed the array of crushed leaves that looked like a culinary accident. 

“Positive,” Willow said. She grabbed Tara's hand and started to chant. Buffy wished, not for the first time, that she'd taken high school Latin rather than French.

The words faded away as a sort of ringing sound filled her ears. Her vision blurred and her nose and throat burned like she'd inhaled chlorine. It stopped suddenly, in fact, everything stopped. For a single second there was nothing at all; sound, sensation, or otherwise. She opened her eyes and everything looked... different. She was still standing in Giles's living room. Willow and Tara were still sitting on the floor at her feet. The shelves were still full of books. Giles still stood trying not to look concerned to her left. But the angle was wrong. Like she was standing on a stool. She looked at Xander on her right and remembered what it was she'd just experienced as she was met with unfamiliar brown eyes. The man beside her was taller than Xander. He was also broader with lighter hair.

Buffy looked down at her, well, her borrowed body. Her skin was lighter, her hair was an unextraordinary brown, and the end of her nose was more noticeable than she was used to. 

“Buffy? Xander?” Willow asked looking up at them. Her eyes were both nervous and hopeful.

“Are you alright?” Giles asked reaching a hand out as though he thought to help, but stopped before he touched her.

“I-” Buffy pressed a hand to the throat that wasn't as soft as her own as a voice that was higher than her's came out of it. “I'm fine.”

“This is weird,” said an unfamiliar voice that was grittier and less pleasant than Xander's.

Willow clapped her hands and smiled. “We did it!” Tara smiled as well. “So, here's the deal. The spell could last up to twelve hours-”

“Twelve hours!” Xander shouted in the voice that wasn't his. “I don't want to be like this for twelve hours. I mean look at me... I'm all-”

“Macho?” Buffy offered.

“Or it could last a couple of minutes. It all depends on how well we did our job. That's what I wanted Tara here for. I thought with the both us it's less likely to go ka blewy mid operation.”

“Ka blewy? Great.” Xander wasn't pleased by the possibly bad outcome, but decided to costume up anyway.

Buffy pulled on the lab coat as Giles eyed her uncomfortably. “What?” Buffy asked.

Giles cleaned his glasses. “You look, well, different. I don't like it.” He put his glasses back on. “Do be careful, Buffy.”

“We'll be fine. In and out. No one will even notice us,” Buffy assured him.

“Unless the spell goes ka blewy. Is no one else worried about this?” Xander said.

“We'll be fine, Xander. Let's go.” 

Buffy led the way out the door. As the door swung shut behind Xander, the others exchanged nervous looks. Giles poured himself a drink.

They snuck back to the Initiative cave. They made sure it was empty before the went to the door. Buffy swiped her card and the little green light flashed. 

“Vocal identification required,” the machine said.

“Uh, open sesame?” Buffy tried.

“Vocal identification accepted.” 

Buffy tried to look reassuringly at Xander, but she just felt nervous. Walking into a lair full of vampires is one thing, but walking into a fortress full of secret agents is a whole new game.

They made it to the end of the hall without seeing anyone, but weren't sure to go when they reached the end. “We need to find where they keep the information on their major projects,” Buffy said.

“Well,” Xander pointed to his left. “There's an awful lot of noise down that way.”

“That's probably where the keep the 'hostiles'. We should go the other way. There's got to be labs and offices.”

They went to the right. They found several basic supply closets filled everything from duct tape to sharpies. A door at the end required a key card. Buffy swiped her card and it opened. On the other side were several tables with empty beakers and a computer.

Buffy pursued the file cabinet but it was filled with papers on projects that she didn't understand. Xander went to the computer.

“Any idea what the access code might be?” he asked.

“I'm guessing it's not one two three four. Try your key card maybe there's a scanner,” Buffy said.

Xander found a card scanner on the side of the computer. He swiped his card and the screen flashed red.

“Access restricted,” said the female voice of the computer.

“No good,” Xander said.

“Try mine.” Buffy swiped her own card and got the same message.

“What do we do now?”

Buffy spied a case full of computer disks. “We'll we could take those to Willow.”

Xander picked up the disks. “It might not be what we need. But we don't exactly know our way around this place.”

“We should go before someone sees us. I think we've been lucky so far.”

“Agreed.”

They made their way back to the door and outside not seeing a single soldier on the way. Walking back to Giles's place Willow's spell started to fade.

“That was too easy,” Xander said in his own voice.

“I think you're right.”

“Oh, look.” Xander smiled. “You're all blonde again.”

“You're all short again,” Buffy joked.

“Oh, ha ha. I better get back home before Anya starts planning my funeral.”

“She stays with you now?”

“She says she prefers her own place, but she spends an awful lot of time eating all my snacks and hogging the blankets anyway.”

“Yeah well, at least you have a blanket hog. The closest I've got is Mr. Gordo.”

Xander patted her shoulder sympathetically. “See ya round, Buff.”

“Bye, Xander.”

They parted ways and Buffy brooded all the way to Giles's. She walked through the door and found Giles sitting alone at his desk.

“Where's Willow?” she asked.

“She and Tara were tired so they went home. How did it go?”

“We found these.” Buffy showed him the disks. “I was hoping Willow could get something off of them.”

“Good, good.” Giles nodded.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“I... well, I.” He held up the near empty bottle of whiskey. “Had to restock after Spike...” He grew uncomfortably silent.

Buffy sighed. “I realize everything hasn't exactly been okay between us, but I got over it. What you did... it was unforgivable. But I understand. I don't want this tension anymore. I want to trust you again.”

“You can.”

“I thought about it a lot. I can't trust you where Spike is concerned. But with anything else, you're still my Watcher and I trust you.”

Giles's eyes teared up. Buffy hugged him. Everything damaged between them felt suddenly repaired.


	17. Out of the Closet and Into the Blackness

Buffy woke up in her dorm. She pulled the blanket up over her head refusing to face the day ahead of her. It was good twenty minutes before she gave up on falling back asleep and flipped the blanket off her with a distraught sigh. Willow came walked through the door half a second later.

“Hey, Buffy,” Willow said smiling. “Pretty day, huh?”

“I hadn't noticed.” She looked out the window.

“So how did last night go?” Willow asked.

“We got in and out fine. And we got these.” She handed Willow the disks from their place on the night stand.

Willow sat on her bed. “I'll get right on this.” She grabbed her laptop and fired it up. Buffy didn't move.

“Buffy? Is something wrong?” Willow asked.

“Wrong? No, I... I just,” she sighed. “It's Spike.” She sat down beside Willow.

“Is he getting testy 'cause he doesn't like helping us? I thought that might happen what with him being used to being all 'big bad'. He hasn't been getting in the way has he?” Willow set the disks aside.

“No, nothing like that. Well, he was never happy about being helpful, but it's not that.” Buffy stared at her hands in her lap.

“Oh. Well, what is it then?”

“He... Well I think he almost kissed me.”

“What? Buffy oh my- wow! And did you, you know, almost kiss him, too? 'Cause it's okay if you did. Sometimes you spend a lot of time with someone and even though it's a little unusual you still get these feelings and sometimes they have feelings too and you both don't know how to say it or what anyone is gonna think and it's hard and sort of scary but really exciting too,” she rambled. “You know?”

“I uh, what? No, I didn't. I don't have feelings for Spike I mean he's... he's Spike!”

“Oh.” Willow looked disappointed.

“Do you think maybe... Spike has a crush on me?”

“I don't know. It's possible.” Willow shrugged. “Lots of weird things have happened.”

“But it's Spike though. He's probably just trying to mess with me right?”

“Buffy, don't you think that against all odds, that maybe he's just in love with you? That even though it's the sort of thing some people would frown upon he cares about you and wants to be with you?” Willow said defensively.

“Are we still talking about me?”

Willow sighed. “We're talking about Spike.”

“Are you sure 'cause it seems like we're-” Buffy began.

“Well we are Buffy, okay?” Willow nervous and uncertain.

“Willow are you-”

“No, Buffy I'm not alright!” She jumped up from the bed. “You're fighting this creature we can't even name. Xander's always off with Anya. Giles has been unreachable since Angelus and I'm having all these problems that I don't want to bother anyone with. Like having to start a whole new class since Professor Walsh died and answering questions about where you've been and trying to get the wicca group to actually act like wiccans and to top it off I think I'm kind of gay,” she said in a rush.

“Oh,” Buffy said as the words took a minute to process. “Oh, wow. I mean not wow. Just I'm surprised. Is this about Oz?”

“No, it's not about Oz.”

“Oh, so... Tara?”

“Tara.”

“And are you guys?”

“No.”

“Does she...”

“I think so. We haven't talked about it or anything, but I really like her Buffy. She's really special.” Willow sat back down looking a lot calmer. Buffy nodded.

“So... you and Spike?” Willow asked.

“Not ever.”

“So what are you gonna do about it?”

“I don't know. I guess I have to tell him that I'm not interested. It's just weird.”

“It's not weird.” Willow shook her head.

“You don't think it's weird?” Buffy looked surprised.

“I think it would be weird if he didn't.”

“Great. So, I'll talk to him.” Buffy didn't move.

“He isn't gonna talk to himself,” Willow coaxed.

“Right...” Buffy finally left the room.

Willow sighed with relief. She put the first disk in the drive and set to work. Her mind wandered as her fingers moved over the keys. She thought about Tara and was relieved that Buffy had all but given her blessing. She didn't think Xander would offer any protests because guys are into that kind of thing anyway, right? So her friends were totally cool with her and Tara dating. Now she just had to talk to Tara about it. She felt suddenly doubtful, but a knock at the door brought her back to the present moment.

“Come in!” she called.

Tara stepped into the room with a bright smile.

“I just saw Buffy in the hall. I'm really glad they made it out of there okay. I was worried for a minute that I may have done something wrong...”

“You did perfect,” Willow told her with a smile.

Tara sat down on the end of the bed. “So what are you doing?”

“Buffy found these disks in the Initiative. We're hoping they can tell us something about this monster they've got on the loose.” Willow went back to typing what looked to Tara like a series of random symbols and words.

“Oh... So I'm probably just in the way,” Tara said getting up.

“No! You should stay. If you want. This is kind of a long process and it wold be nice to have some company. You know if you don't have anything else to do.”

Tara nodded. “I'll stay then.” She laid down on her stomach next to Willow.

***  
Buffy wandered around Sunnydale thinking of what she might say to Spike. It realized how important it was she made it clear she wasn't interested without insulting him. The last thing she needed was a pissed off vampire on top of the big bad Initiative monster.

The sun set and she trudged her way back to the cemetery hoping something would come up and prevent her from finding Spike. She kept her ears peeled for screams or growls or various other sounds that would require her immediate attention. When she reached the front gate, she scowled at the general structure of Sunnydale.

“Not a peep when you need it, but when you've got plans suddenly everyone's in danger,” she grumbled.

Not two steps onto the cemetery grounds, she heard the scream she'd been hoping for. She nearly smiled as relief hit her. She raced off toward the sound.

Three vampires stood over a woman who had chosen a bad to time to visit a dead relative. Buffy grabbed the first two she reached and shoved them aside. The third whirled around to see her with a face full of fangs and she clocked him in the jaw. As he jolted back, she swung her leg around to kick the vampire coming up behind her and knocked him into the other who was climbing to his feet. She pulled a stake from her coat and vampire number three was dust before faster than he could yell 'slayer'.

A vampire behind her kicked her hard in the right shoulder and nearly knocked her over. She turned, dodging his fist and plunged her stake into his chest. The last vampire wasn't where she'd expected him and she whirled around until she spotted him heading into the woods. She flipped the stake in her hand to grasp the very end and sent it flying into the bloodsucker's back.

She threw her arms up with a little cheer and winced as the movement disturbed the bruise forming on her upper arm. She rubbed her sore shoulder turned back in the direction of Spike's crypt. Instead of the empty cemetery she'd expected, someone stood in the shadows of the closest mausoleum. He stepped forward into the moonlight with a smile on his face.

Buffy's eyes took in the pink/green skin and half human face. He was large and disturbing and instantly triggered her slayer instincts causing her to freeze in place and raise her fists defensively.

“So, you would be the slayer. I've heard a great deal about you,” He said in a deep voice. “Buffy Summers. They fear you. Vampires, demons, they hide in the filthiest of places.”

“As they should,” she told him.

“No. You are wrong. They are the superior race. They hide when they could dominate. Yet you are only a little girl. What is so terrifying about you?”

“I thought you heard. I'm the slayer. Who are you?”

“ I am called Adam... You are the slayer, but you are only one while they are hundreds, thousands... I must ponder this.” He turned his back and walked back to the shadows.

“Hey!” Buffy shouted. “Thought we were talking.” She ran after him and sent her fist into the back of his neck. He stopped walking and turned around. Buffy ignored the pain in her hand that signaled she may have fractured a knuckle.

The demon swung his arm and knocked her aside without effort. She fell into a headstone and it cracked beneath her.

“If I wanted to fight,” he lifted his left arm as a long spike slid out from under his skin. “You would be dead now.”

He turned away again and left her there panting. She gasped and pressed her hands over her ribs. They didn't feel broken but the pain in her chest said otherwise. She climbed to her feet and her teeth ground together as her jaw clenched. She stumbled forward a step and pain shot through her chest stealing her breath.

Cool arms wrapped around her and lifted her up. Her head spun from the elevation change and she squeezed her eyes shut just before she passed out.


	18. Melting the Ice

Spike took one last drag on his cigarette before he tossed it to the ground. He stared up at the starry sky and definitely did not think about the way Buffy's eyes twinkle when she laughs. Which was absolutely not followed by the memory of the way her nose wrinkles and she tosses her back when she's finally let her guard down. He most assuredly did not think about how peaceful she looks when she's sleeping on the floor of his crypt with her golden hair splayed out underneath her...

No, Spike refused to think about any of those things. Instead, he took out another cigarette and lit up insisting on burying his emotions in layers of smoke and nicotine.

The burn in his throat made his stomach ache and the thought of warm, wet, blood pouring down his throat didn't help. He heard a scream somewhere on the other side of the crypt he leaned against. He groaned and imagined he was the one tearing into that woman. Warm, wet, living, blood. He wasn't sure he could stomach another night of microwaved butcher shop blood. The paper bag crammed full of beef and pig blood that resided in his refrigerator was probably the most repulsive thing he had ever seen (and he was nearing his bicentennial).

The screaming stopped. “Great,” Spike muttered. Buffy was somewhere in the cemetery. He closed his eyes and sure enough, he could feel her. Alive and so very warm like she radiated her own personal light. A moment later he felt as though that light were flickering out. It struggled to remain alight. The smell of fresh blood permeated the air drawing all the bloodsucking things to its source.

The cigarette fell from his hand and hit the ground. His coat billowed out behind him and his boots thundered against the earth. He spotted Buffy swaying on her feet, struggling to stand. She stepped toward him and nearly fell.

Before he knew what was happening, he had his arms around her. Her warm body pressed against his chest and she went limp in his arms. An instinctive growl rumbled out of his throat as he felt eyes watching him. The spectators were quick to retreat at the possessive sound.

He carried her back to his crypt and set her on the coffin. He grabbed a bowl of water and a towel and gently cleaned the blood off her face and hand. He didn't want to wake her, but her wanted to check her knuckles for breaks. Hoping the pain wouldn't jolt her awake, he took her right hand and gently bent each of her fingers. Two fingers remained in position unable to move. He tore the towel into one long strip and wrapped her hand tightly.

He wasn't sure what else to do for her. Angelus had patched him up a million times and he knew what to do for a million different injuries, but Buffy wasn't conscious to tell him what hurt. He thought about the way she was standing and how she'd moved. Her legs seemed fine, so he decided it would have to be her ribs.

Spike pushed her coat off her shoulders and slid her arms out hoping she wouldn't wake up enough to stake him. He slid her shirt up over her chest. Her left side was covered in deep purple bruises. He ran his fingers over her ribs and felt each one still in place, but he doubted there wasn't a fracture or two somewhere in there.

Thankfully, he'd started keeping ice packs in his freezer shortly after he started hanging around the slayer. He retrieved one and laid it across her ribs. As long as she laid still for a while, the swelling would be gone in no time and her slayer healing would repair anything he couldn't.

He turned his arm chair around where he could watch her. He kicked his feet up and fell asleep as the sun began to rise.

***

Willow woke up after a long night of fruitless coding. She was on her back with Tara's head laying on her stomach and her laptop on her knees. Thankfully, she'd connected it to the charger and the code she had been working on when she passed out was still on the screen. She rubbed her head feeling a migraine forming.

She'd worked all day and night and was still exactly where she started. She absently ran her fingers through Tara's hair and tried to think of something she might have missed. She spent a long while braiding and unbraiding and running her fingers through her hair until it was smooth. She didn't notice when Tara slowly woke up, until she spoke.

“That feels nice,” she said sleepily.

Willow smiled. “Good morning.”

“Morning. Make any progress?”

“Zilch,” Willow pouted. “I'm starting to think my computer skills are more than a bit rusty. They've already corroded and fallen apart into little skill-less pieces.” She stopped playing with Tara's hair and rested her hand on her shoulder instead.

“You'll get it eventually. It's just a bit stubborn is all.”

“Maybe, but I've been working so hard and the thing won't budge.”

“You need coffee. What time is it?”

“After ten.”

Tara sat up and attempted to fix her messy hair. “The cafe is open. I could go get some.”

“That would be nice.”

“Okay,” she said standing up. “I'll be right back.” She leaned down and kissed Willow's cheek and was out the door before she realized what she'd just done. She blushed and worried for a moment before she smiled.

Willow hardly noticed the unusual gesture as wrapped up in her thoughts as she was. When she did, she smiled and her thoughts went from computers to Tara. For a few minutes anyway. Then she was stuck by the panic that if she didn't get Buffy the information she needed, more people could die and it would be partially her fault. She got right back to work.

Tara came back with the coffee and knelt down on the bed beside Willow. She handed her the warm cup.

“Thanks,” Willow said offering her a small smile. She took a sip of her drink, eyes never leaving the computer screen.

“Oh that's it!”

“What's it?” Tara asked between sips of her own coffee.

“I just assumed that it was with an asymmetric algorithm, but then it hit me. A hexagonic key pattern. It's gotte be-”

“Hey look, you did it!” Tara exclaimed nearly spilling her coffee in her lap.

“I haven't even started typing in the code yet... It must be programed to self decrypt after a certain point. That is so annoying! It's like somebody blurting out the answer to a riddle just before you've- I mean yippie! We have the information.”

“Yippie is right. Look at that.”

“Woah. We have got to call Buffy.”

The phone rang and they shared a look.

“Or Buffy has got to call us?” Willow said with a shrug.

Tara picked up the phone. “Hello? Yeah she's right here.” She held the phone away from her face. “It's Mr. Giles.”

Willow stood up and took the phone from Tara. “Hello?”

“Have you gotten anything off of those disks?” Giles asked.

“Finally. I just finished decrypting them. Well, they decrypted themselves,” she pouted.

“What do they say?”

“I think we'd better call all the Scoobies together for this one.”

“Well, we'd better make it quick. There's been another death.”

“What? Who?”

Tara watched her face with concern.

“A student, Forrest Gates.”

“He was friends with Riley. I wonder if he has something to do with the Initiative.”

“It would seem likely. I think it would be wise to get this demon taken care of as quickly as possible.”

“Agreed. We'll be there as soon as we can.” She hung up.

“What was that about?” Tara asked.

“Someone's been killed. Forrest. He was a friend of Riley's.”

“And you think he could have been one of the commando's?”

Willow looked back at her laptop. “I'm pretty certain.”

***

When Buffy woke, it took her a moment to figure out where she was. The last thing she remembered was crashing into a headstone. She must have passed out and somehow ended up in Spike's crypt. Light filtered in through the dark stained window and she wondered how long she'd been out. She sat up and groaned as her ribs ached. A warm ice pack slid off her chest and hit the floor with a wet slap.

Her right hand was wrapped tightly in a rag and she thought better of testing the fingers. Even with slayer healing, breaks take a while to heal. She lifted her shirt and looked over the bruised skin. Her entire side was covered in an ugly yellow and brown splotch. It wasn't swollen, but it definitely hurt move. She decided she could be a lot worse off. Admittedly, that was probably to due to the blond menace sleeping in the arm chair not five feet away.

She swung her legs around so her feet dangled an inch from the floor and hopped down. It was like being punched in the chest, but she remained on her feet. She took a step forward and though it hurt, she declared it a success and even managed a small smile. She'd just get home, swallow down some painkillers, and get some rest. It was gonna be a long walk.

“How far do you really think you'll make it like that, love?” Spike said somewhat sleepily.

“As far as I have to.” She took a few more steps wishing she'd learned how to drive.

“Where's the fire?” He asked looking amused as she stubbornly insisted on movement and swayed finding it difficult to more very far at one time.

“You're the fire. The hot, deadly, no good fire,” she grumbled.

“I'll take that as a compliment.” He smirked.

“That's not what I meant.” She rolled her eyes.

“True though i'n't it? I think you hold me at arms length for a reason, pet.”

Buffy sighed. “There is no holding. You're a vampire, I'm the slayer. You're evil and I kill evil things.”

“So why am I not dead?” He stood up so he could catch her the second the pain knocked her legs out from under her.

“Because you're still useful. We've been over this.”

Spike tilted his head. “I was there, slayer. In that cave. You felt something then. When I touched you. There was a spark.”

“You're delusional. You're taking this crush of yours too far and I'm not interested. There are no feelings here, no sparks. We have a business arrangement and that is all we have,” she said sternly, but she was thinking about what Willow said. Something about feelings and it would weird if they weren't there and it was okay for them to be there, but they weren't. Because there was absolutely no feelings of any kind and she reminded herself of that.

Spike was suddenly very close very fast and Buffy realized she was in no condition for quick movement. “I think,” he said. As lacking in breath as he was, his low voice still wrapped around her, warming her skin. “You've been singing that tune for so long, you can't hear anything else.”

“What's that supposed to-”

He leaned close and his lips brushed against her's. She shoved him away from her and he stumbled back a step. Caught up in a sudden wave of anger, she didn't notice the pain in her ribs until she was half way home.

Spike wasn't the least bit upset by her reaction. In fact, his dark eyes made his smile seem that much more gleeful. She may have said no, but it didn't escape him that the closer he got, the hotter she burned. Eventually, all that ice would melt and only shining golden light would remain.


	19. The Scowl of Doom

Buffy made it inside the house and leaned against the front door catching her breath. Her thoughts moved in a million different and conflicting directions causing her head to ache. She went to the kitchen to look for aspirin and found Joyce sitting at the island with a cup of tea.

“Buffy,” she said with a smile. “Willow called for you. She said you all needed at meet at Giles's house for something.”

“Did she say what?”

“Nope. I don't think she wanted me to worry. So naturally, I'm worried. What's going on Buffy?”

Buffy shrugged. “Same old. Monster on the loose, lives to save. You know.”

Joyce nodded. “Right. Are you feeling okay? You're skin's a bit flushed.” She stood up and pressed the back of her hand to Buffy's forehead.

“I'm fine.” She went to push her mother's hand away but she forgot about the broken fingers.

“What happened to your hand?” She held Buffy's hand in her own.

“I think I broke a couple fingers. It happens.”

“Did you wrap this yourself? It's very well done.”

Buffy thought about Spike taking care of her while she was sleeping. The color in her cheeks deepened. “I've had a lot of practice.”

“Well, all the same, it probably needs to be re-wrapped. Old rags make a poor substitute for real bandages.”

“Okay. Let me just get some aspirin. It aches a bit.” She hopped her mother didn't notice her wince as she turned around to find the bottle in the cabinet.

After she'd gulped down two big pills, she let Joyce fix her a cup of tea and a grilled cheese sandwich. Joyce talked about work while Buffy ate. Gradually conversation was directed toward Buffy.

“So, how have your classes been?”

Buffy nearly choked. When was the last time she'd actually gone to class? She'd been maybe twice since Riley. If she wanted to have the slightest chance of passing, she'd have to get with Willow for notes. Several weeks worth of notes...

“Good. Classes are good.”

“That's good. I was worried that losing that psychology teacher might make things difficult for you. Did they find someone else to teach the class?”

“Uh, no. They had to cut it.” That was what Willow had said, right?

“And right in the middle of the semester.” Joyce shook her head. “Well, I'm glad it hasn't been too hard for you. The last thing you need is more work.”

“Right.”

“Are you sure you're feeling okay? You're awfully distracted.”

“Peachy,” Buffy said as convincingly as she could.

“Is it a boy thing? Because you know it's okay to move on already. It's not too soon if you're interested in someone else.”

“No, I'm alright, mom. Really.”

“Well, if you want to talk, I'm always here.” She ducked down to kiss Buffy's forehead and carried the empty plate to the sink.

“I'd better go meet up with the gang,” Buffy said.

“Be safe,” Joyce called as Buffy made her escape.

***

Everyone was waiting when Buffy came through the door. They all sat in the living room and Willow jumped up excitedly as she joined them.

“I decrypted the disks. Sorta. I got the information off of them anyway. This monster thing, it's not a demon.”

“What is it?” Giles asked curiously.

“It's this demon, human, machine hybrid. There was this top secret project called 314 that only a handful of scientists knew about. Maggie Walsh was one of them. Actually, she was the head of the project. They were trying to create a perfect organism. So they put all the best pieces of different species together to make this super intelligent, super strong being.”

“Well it worked,” Buffy commented.

“And it looks like the demon parts are pretty dominant,” Willow said. “He's called-”

“Adam.”

“How did you-” Willow began.

“I ran into him last night in the cemetery.” She lifted her bandaged hand.

“Are you okay?” Willow asked.

“What happened?” Xander asked.

“I'm okay. We fought. Well... I punched him and he threw me into a headstone. Turns out they're as solid as they look.”

“Just like that?” Willow asked.

“It was like nothing to him. With a sweep of his arm it was lights out for Buffy.”

“You fainted?” Giles asked with concern.

“If Spike hadn't found me, I would have been monster food.”

Giles looked uncomfortable but he didn't say anything.

“So this super monster, exactly how bad are we talkin'?” Xander asked.

“According to the disks, his brain is somehow half computer. He could just suck information out of any disk or drive in the Initiative. If Riley told them about Buffy, then there's a good chance he knows everything.”

“Everything they would find relevant. He wouldn't know about you guys,” Buffy said.

“Well how much do we really help?” Xander asked.

“You help lots! I mean if Willow hadn't cracked the disks-”

“Actually, Buffy they kind of cracked themselves,” Willow interrupted.

“Okay, well if Willow hadn't done that locater spell, or that light spell we wouldn't have been able to stop Angelus.”

“Well, that's Willow. Willow is of the helpful sort. I'm of the get in the way sort,” Xander insisted.

“That's not true!” Willow said.

“Yeah, you're our wheels. And moral support,” Buffy said.

“Oh, and you're good at the whole sarcasm thing. It's more important than you'd think.” Willow nodded.

“Fine. I help. But I don't see how I can help with this one. I mean, it knocked you unconscious and while I am very good at being unconscious, I don't see how that helps.”

“Well you can help us with the thinking, since right now that is what we're doing,” Willow offered.

“Alright, I'm the brains of the operation.” Xander smiled. 

“We're all doomed,” Giles said behind a cup of tea.

“Hey!”

Buffy ignored them. “Did those disks say anything about how to shut him down?”

“He doesn't have a heart, but he is alive. I don't think cutting his head off will do it though. Not with him being all computerized.”

“I don't think I could anyway. His neck is pretty solid.”

“Well how do we kill this thing then?” Xander asked.

“Uranium,” Willow said.

“Good thing we've got such an ample supply of that,” Xander snarked.

“It's his power source,” Willow said giving him a reproachful look. “Problem is, we don't know where it is. The disks didn't exactly provide a detailed copy of the design plans.”

“Well that's something. I think,” Buffy said.

“Yeah we'll just ask him to lie down while we do some exploratory surgery,” Xander suggested.

“What about magic?” Willow suggested. “There's gotta be a spell for that. Some kind of uranium extracting spell...”

They all looked at her strangely.

“Yeah I know.”

“Perhaps a paralyzing spell,” Giles suggested much more helpfully. He stood up and retrieved a book from the nearest shelf and flipped a few pages. “Only I can't preform the incantation for this.”

“Don't you have to speak it in Sumerian or something?” Willow asked.

“I do speak Sumerian. It's not that. Only an experienced witch can incant it and you'd have to be within striking distance of the target.”

“See what you get for taking French instead of Sumerian?” Xander said looking at Buffy.

“What was I thinking?” She rolled her eyes.

“Ooh! The brains has an idea! We just need like a combo Buffy: her with her slayer strength, Giles' muti-lingual know how, and Willow's witchy power... Yeah don't tell me. I'm the brainiest of operation brains.”

“As a matter of fact, you may just be,” Giles said getting another book. He found the right spell and handed the book to Willow.

“Oh! It's an enjoining spell. This could really work!”

Xander smiled. “So I really am brainy?”

“The brainiest. We just need to find Adam and a quiet place where we won't be interrupted and a few other things and we're good to go,” Willow told him.

“We'll if that's all,” Xander said disappointed.

“Actually guys. I think he might be hiding out in the Initiative,” Buffy said.

“How do you figure?” Willow asked.

“Well, he's super intelligent right? So, he'd know there's no safer place in Sunnydale. Plus, whatever he's up to, he'd have endless resources there.”

“Not to mention all the information a bio-mechanical demonoid could wish for,” Willow added.

“So, we're going back in?” Xander asked.

“Looks like,” Buffy replied.

***

With everything gathered together, the gang made their way to the Initiative cave. They hesitated before the concealed door.

“Everybody ready?” Buffy asked.

“As we'll ever be,” Willow said.

“I think I'm gonna be sick,” Xander said.

“I think I left the kettle on,” Giles said.

“Good,” Buffy said. “Let's do this.”

She swiped the key card from the first venture into the Initiative. The green light flashed and the door slid open. They marched inside and as they rounded the first turn, they were stopped by ten heavily armed commandos. They were escorted into a room with lots of security equipment and even more commandos.

“How did you get in here?” the colonel commanded.

“There's a monster living in your facility planning a big take over the world scheme,” Buffy told him. “You have to help us find him.”

“You think you and your friends can just keep waltzing into a government agency? Yes, we know you were here. What we don't know is why you didn't show up on the cameras. Or how you got in after we deactivated that key card,” he said scowling down at her.

“You have to listen to us. This thing is gonna do some serious damage and we're the only ones that can stop it.”

“You expect me to believe four civilians carrying weapons like... like,” he dug through the bag confiscated from Giles. He looked confused.

“It's a gourd,” Willow told him. The man looked astonished.

“A magic gourd,” Giles added.

“What kind of freaks are you people?”

“Adam is inside the Initiative, Colonel” Buffy said.

“How do you know about Adam?” he asked with a disapproving scowl.

“I'm the slayer. It's my job to take down monsters like him.”

“Every inch of this installation is under constant surveillance.”

“Including the secret lab?” Willow asked. 

“Including everything!” He scowled at her. “What secret lab?”

“The one Adam's been using. The one used for the final stage of the 314 project... And you have no idea what I'm talking about,” she added catching another disbelieving look.

“I know everything that goes on around here. A tick on a mouse couldn't get in without my knowing,” he said proudly. Buffy rolled her eyes.

“We did,” Willow informed him.

“And we took things,” Xander informed him.

The colonel scowled. “If Adam wants to try anything, we're ready for him.”

“How exactly do you plan to get close enough to remove his power source?” Giles asked.

“Hit him simultaneously with multiple taser blasters.”

“Which would work if he wasn't a good part machine. You'd most likely be feeding him more power,” Willow said.

“That's pure speculation.”

“But it sounds a lot better than that 'duck and cover' plan you've got going on,” Xander said. Willow held back a smirk.

“You tellin' you me my business?”

“This is not your business. It's mine,” Buffy said. “You, the Initiative, the boys at the Pentagon, you're all in way over you're heads. Messing with primeval forces you have absolutely no comprehension of!”

“And you do?”

“I'm the slayer. You're playing on my turf.”

“Up there maybe, but down here I'm the one who's in control.”

The lights cut out surrounding them in darkness. Emergency lights slowly came on as they all looked around in confusion.

“Sir, the power grid is down. Backup's not responding,” said a soldier a computer. The colonel looked at Buffy. “Locks have released. Hostiles are loose.”

“How many?”

“All of them, sir.”

“It's Adam,” Buffy told him. “I am the only one that can stop him now. Just let me handle this, get your people out of here.”

“You men follow me,” he said pointing at the soldiers. “We've gotta take the armory, now.”

“Colonel!” Buffy protested.

“These people are under arrest,” he said to another soldier. “Do you understand?”

“Yes sir,” said the soldier.

The gang shared irritated and discouraged looks as the soldiers matched out of the room leaving two behind.

They moment they were gone, Buffy kicked the soldier at the computer right out of his chair and knocked the second into the table. She slammed her elbow into his face and he fell to the ground unconscious. She grabbed his blaster.

“Come on, we've gotta find Adam.”

Willow sat down at a computer and started typing.

“The enjoining spell is very touchy,” Giles said. “It's volatile. We can't risk it being interrupted. We need a place that's close to you and quiet.”

“Uh, quiet?” Xander nodded to security monitor displaying the chaos as soldiers were torn apart by demons and demons were shot by soldiers. Everything was fire, electrical sparks, and blood.

“There!” Willow said pointing at the screen. “According to this there's air ducts and electrical conduits all running into there.”

“So?” Buffy asked.

“So there's no there there. There's nothing on the map.”

Buffy nodded understanding. “It's Adam.”

“Are you sure?” Giles asked.

“It's right behind 314. Can you unlock it?'

“I don't have to. All the locks in the Initiative have been disengaged. Except the exits.”

“Demon open house,” Xander commented.

“Well, there's one that's reporting damage, but that doesn't mean it's open either. Something heavy probably just fell against it and it jammed or something.” 

“Great. So we know we're going to 314. Now all we have to do is get there.”

Buffy handed Xander the blaster and they marched out of the room, right into the heart of the Initiative. Solders hid behind burning trucks and lab tables as demons, less strategically, leaped over them and tore apart anyone they could get their hands on. The floor was littered with the bodies of unarmed scientists with a soldier or demon corpse here and there.

Buffy led the way through the chaos doing her best to clear a path. Xander came second firing taser blasts at any demons that got in the way. Buffy tackled Willow to the ground as a well-meaning but confused soldier aimed his machine gun their way. They got back on their feet the second the gunfire stopped and ran into the room marked 314.

“It should be over here,” Buffy said walking past lab tables and machinery. Willow helped her move a cart away from the wall where a door was hidden.

“Okay, once I'm in barricade the door behind me. Is this place okay to be magic central?”

“It should do,” Giles nodded.

“As long as we don't get blowed up or nothin',” Willow said with a shrugged.

“What are the odds of that?” Xander joked.

“How long before the ritual kicks in?” Buffy asked.

“Five minutes give or take,” Giles said.

“Gotta move fast then.”

“Buffy I still don't like you going in alone,” Xander said.

“I won't be.” She turned and ran down the secret hallway.

They immediately got to work setting up. The sat together in a circle and hopped Buffy hadn't already gotten into trouble as they started the spell.

***  
Buffy found Adam watching the chaos he created as is it flowed through the entire facility.

“Fun isn't it?” Buffy asked.

“I do appreciate violence,” Adam agreed.

“Good.”

Buffy went at him ignoring the part of her brain that reminded her it wouldn't do any good. He dodged every blow, except the one that snapped his polgara skewer right from his arm. 

“Broke your arm,” Buffy taunted.

“Got another.” He raised his arm as it changed form until it was more mini-gun than flesh. “I've been upgrading.”

Buffy dove behind a panel of computers as he fired at her. Her body suddenly felt warm and she was no longer afraid as she could feel her friends within her own mind.

***  
Bang, bang! Bang! A large demon crashed through the door and came right at the group sitting on the floor just as they finished the ritual. Spike ran into the room and grabbed it. He twisted its head around and dropped it to the floor.

The group looked at him feeling disoriented as they returned to their own bodies.

“Nasty sort of fellow. Lucky for you blighters I was here, eh?” Spike said.

Giles blinked at him dizzily. “Yes... Although your heroism has been slightly muted by the fact that you've tried to kill as all.”

“You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here,” Xander said.

“Did it work? Well, then everything's all right. And we all get to be not staked through the heart. Good work, team.” He offered them all a smile and a thumbs up.

Buffy came back through the door as the others finally made it to their feet.

“Buffy.” Giles said with obvious relief.

“Wasn't it amazing?” Willow said excitedly.

“You were great,” Xander said.

“We were great.” Buffy smiled.

“There's still a lot of people out there,” Xander said.

“Well, let's go save 'em, by gum,” Spike said. Everyone but Buffy looked slightly confused.

“You guys get to the exits, get 'em open,” Buffy said. “I'll take point. We'll try to pull the soldiers back. Get 'em outside.”

“Are you up to this?” Willow asked as she led the way out.

“I am,” Buffy responded knocking out the nearest demon.


	20. When the Dust Settles

The buzz of victory filled the air as they escaped the Initiative. Too excited to go home, Xander drove them all to the Bronze. They found a table and ordered drinks. Anya showed a few minutes later and dragged Xander onto the dance floor.

Giles sipped his tea, seeming to enjoy the loud music. Willow and Buffy sat on either side of him nursing drinks of their own. Willow was pleasantly surprised when Tara appeared beside her.

“Hey! I didn't know you were coming out tonight,” Willow said smiling at her.

“You're friend Xander called. He said you were looking lonely and I should come and remedy that,” Tara told her.

“Really?”

Tara nodded. “Uh huh.”

Willow looked toward Xander as he laughed and danced with Anya. She smiled. “He really is the heart of us,” she murmured. She grabbed Tara's hand and pulled her onto the dance floor.

“Any chance a Watcher would dance with his Slayer?” Buffy asked.

“Not if you paid me,” Giles said.

“Not really a... what kind of music would you call this?”

“Toxic whining.”

Buffy smiled. “Not really a 'toxic whining' kind of guy then?”

“I think it was the Beatles that got music right.”

“Well, if they come around playing at the Bronze, I'll let you know.”

“Please do.” Giles smiled. “You did very well today, Buffy. I don't think I tell you that enough.”

“We did it together. All of us.”

“I don't just mean Adam. You didn't back down when that Colonel tried to stop you. You took charge and you got out every possible survivor. I'm very proud of you.”

Buffy smiled. “Where would a slayer be without the love and support of her Watcher?”

“Here I would imagine. Dancing and drinking one of those brightly colored fruit concoctions,” Giles said with disapproval.

Buffy laughed. “No chance of a dance then?” she asked as the band switched to something less aggressive and whining as their previous song.

“Maybe just one song, but do be kind. My generation was never so provocative with their dancing.”

“No worries. We'll sex it down a few notches.”

***  
It was black. Buffy wasn't sure where she was, but it was freezing and the blanket she vaguely remembered pulling over herself, wasn't there. She reached over for the lamp on her bedside table and she only felt air.

“Willow?” She asked. No response cut through the empty silence and light came through the blackness. She was certain she was alone and not in her dorm, but this didn't feel like her bedroom either. Suddenly, there was something glowing in front of her.

“Angel?” And it was definitely Angel. He didn't say anything. For a minute, she wasn't even sure if he could see her, but his eyes focus on her face and he smiled. He tried to say something, but his voice came out as a broken scream and he erupted into flames.

Buffy bolted awake gasping. Light from the street lamp shined through the thin curtain over the window. She looked at the time on her alarm clock. It was just after four in the morning. She laid down and tried to get back to sleep, but she couldn't get the image out of her head. She grabbed a towel and an armful of clothes and went into the bathroom.

The heat from the shower helped calm her. She stood under the spray until it turned cold before reluctantly stepping out. She got dressed and examined her dark eyes in the mirror. Buffy was no stranger to sleepless nights, but wasn't a fan of baggy eyes either. She pulled her messy wet hair into a bandana before she dropped her things back in her dorm. Willow was still fast asleep in her bed, so Buffy quietly slipped back out.

The cool night air was refreshing, but even the strongest gust of wind couldn't blow away the images in her mind. Guilt twisted her insides into a tight knot and her eyes burned with tears. She couldn't decide if the images were real or if they built solely on her imagination. It wasn't like she was the one to send Angel to hell was it? She may have staked Angelus, but Angel had been gone long before that. He was torn away by... something she couldn't quite remember. Her memories of her after Thanksgiving trip LA were still foggy. The harder she tried to remember, the thicker the fog became until she finally gave up.

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked up just in time before she smacked into Giles's front door. Her feet stopped with the door hardly an inch from her face. It was late and Giles was probably sleeping. She wasn't sure how she walked this far completely on autopilot or why, but she hoped Giles might have some answers.

The sky hadn't even begun to lighten and Giles was likely exhausted after the night events. Especially since they hadn't left the Bronze until midnight and probably hadn't gotten more than three hours of sleep. Buffy knocked on the door as her guilt for interrupting her Watcher's dreams was overpowered by the guilt of having potentially done something so selfish as to send her first love into hell.

Five minutes later, Giles was blinking at her in surprise and confusion as he tied his robe shut. “Buffy. What is it?”

“I keep having these nightmares,” she said pushing past him.

He closed the door. “I'm truly sorry, Buffy, but isn't this the sort of this that could wait until morning?” Giles asked trying not to sound as irritated as he obviously was.

“About Angel,” Buffy continued as she felt that made the issue all the more serious.

Giles seemed to agree. He nodded and sat down on the couch. The soft cushions made sleep that much more appealing and he seemed to have trouble keeping his eyes open for a moment. Buffy paced a few feet away, having trouble sitting still.

“I keep having these dreams about him being in hell. At first I thought it was just guilt. That I was involved in his soul getting ripped out... but I don't think that's it anymore. I think he might be trying to contact me som- Giles!”

Buffy's eyes fell on her Watcher who had allowed his head to drop forward as he drifted to sleep. He started awake as she shouted. “Yes... good plan, Buffy,” he said.

“Were you even listening?” she asked.

“I-I was.... you were... No I was not.” She rolled her eyes. “I'm sorry, Buffy. It's just been such a long night.” He yawned. “You ought to go home and get some rest. We can talk about this in morning.”

Buffy sighed. “Okay. Goodnight, Giles.”  
She left him to shuffle off to bed and headed out. She let herself wander as her thought about Angel and hell and LA. She ended up in a part of the cemetery she didn't often walk through as there was no more room to bury new bodies. The graves were crammed together and grave monuments had obviously been in style when this section of the cemetery was being filled.

One of the monuments was long and flat on top and just perfect for sitting on. Buffy sat on the cool hard stone and stared down at the wet grass. It was silent except for the sound of bats flying overhead as they vacated the forest to search for insects drawn to the lights in the city.

She hadn't heard him approach, she jumped a bit when she heard his voice behind her. “Fancy meeting you here,” Spike said. “Thanks for inviting me to your little victory party by the way. It's not like I was a prominent part of your success or anything.”

He walked around the monument to stand in front of her, but stopped when he saw the tears on her face reflecting the moonlight. “What's wrong, pet?” he asked softly.

She wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. “Go away, Spike.” 

He didn't. He stood in front of unsure of what exactly to do. He settled on sitting next to her, hoping that she might talk to him or at least feel a little less alone. Spike wasn't sure what insane masochistic part of his brain led him to place his arm around her shoulder, but to his surprise, she leaned into him and laid her head against his chest.

“It's Angel,” she whispered. “Every time I close my eyes I see him. He's haunting me and I can't shake this guilt for what I've done.”

“You didn't do anything, pet. You killed Angelus, you stopped him hurting people.”

“How do you think he got that way? How do you think he lost his soul in the first place?”

Spike stiffened as his head was filled with the image of the girl he hated to love wrapped up with the sire who never deserved her. His chest rumbled as he contained a growl.

“I was there, Spike,” Buffy said softly. “In LA. I don't know how it happened. I can't even remember, but I know it was my fault. It can't be a coincidence that I was in LA the same time Angel lost his soul. He's in hell because of me. I shouldn't have gone after him.”

“Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault.”

“I was-” He pushed her back to look her in the eye.

“I know you, Buffy,” Spike insisted. “You'd never do anything to hurt someone like that, not someone who was good, someone with a soul. You would have done anything to avoid it. You're a hero, Buffy. Hero's don't make monsters. They save them.”

Later, neither of them was really sure who moved first. One way or another, Buffy ended up in Spike's lap with their lips moving together.

***  
The next morning, things had settled down. No Adam, no Angelus, and from the looks of it, no more commandos. Willow laid back on her bed with a contented sigh. Everyone was safe and sound. And wasn't that a new deal? She finally had some time to herself. Time that she decided, was best spent less alone and more with someone she missed every second she was away. Because let's face it, Willow was completely, undeniably in love with Tara and it was time she knew it too. Willow grabbed a favorite spell book from under her bed and got to work.

It took little more than an hour to get it just right, but finally, Willow had exactly what she wanted. She smiled and left her dorm. In a matter of minutes she was on the other side of campus knocking on Tara's door.

The door swung open to reveal a smiling Tara on the other side. “Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” Willow replied feeling suddenly nervous.

Tara stepped aside and let her in. Willow showed her the pale pink flower she held in her hands.

“It's beautiful,” Tara said taking it. She sniffed at the soft petals.

“I made it. It took a while to get the smell just right. Too much rose oil... it was kind of overpowering.”

“You made it?”

“Yeah. I named it after you too.”

Tara blushed and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Yeah?”

“I called it 'Tara's Kiss'.”

Tara wasn't sure what to say and she felt a bit breathless. “I- thank you.” She examined the four pink petals that did in fact resemble human lips. “It's really beautiful,” she whispered looking at Willow. She took a slow step forward and so very slowly pressed her lips against Willow's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here ends part one. More to come at an undetermined time, but I'd say some time in September is when you should come looking for the sequel. I'm still in the process of re-editing part one to clean up the million and one mistakes that were overlooked so if you notice anything major please point it out so there's no chance of me missing it yet again. Thanks for reading, you've all been so very fantastic.

**Author's Note:**

> [Follow my writing blog](http://babybatscreations.tumblr.com/) on tumblr


End file.
